By the time this gets published, the cute blonde boy and I would have been offically living together for seven months. More than half a year (just barely, but still) I have been living with a BOY. WHAT?!
If you read my blog post What Living with your S.O. Is Really Like, you know that the cute blonde boy and I moved in together back in May after we both graduated from college. We packed up everything we had, put the doggos in the car, and drove 12 hours across the country over two very long days to the east coast. In my first post, I shared what it’s really like to live with your S.O. and answered some of your questions. With this post, I want to share a little bit of an update and how the cute blonde boy and I have managed to not 1) go insane and hate each other after seven months and 2) not kill one another in the same time period.
Over the last seven months I have learned a lot about what it means to live with your S.O.. I know, I know, seven months isn’t that long; there are people who have lived with each other for like, 60 years. I’ll write another blog post when we get there 😉 These seven months have still taught me a lot though! The biggest thing that have taught me is that S P A C E is a good thing. It’s good to have space from your S.O. if you live together and it’s good to have time apart.
The cute blonde boy and I do this in a few ways. The biggest thing that provides us with space is our work schedules. Currently, he and I work on two totally different schedules. He works the standard 9-5 and I work, well, a pretty varied schedule. Our varied work schedules allow us for time apart and time to be our own persons on our own. We don’t spend every waking hour together and sometimes, when we are at home at the same time, we are necessarily all up in each others space. Our work allows us the opportunity to fill our time with things other than the other person, which is HUGE if you don’t want to go insane while living with your partner.
When we are home together, we do spend time together, but again, not every waking second that we are home. We do other things, together. To explain, I will sit on the couch and do computer stuff while Lucas plays video games. This is a great example of how we do things separately, but are still spending time together. Another big way that we spend time apart, while both at home, is being in a different room than one another. I’m not saying we avoid each other, we just spend our time in different spaces. Doing so is so important so you don’t fester unhealthy dependencies on one another OR start to fester feelings of never getting to be alone.
Doing these things but STILL feeling like you are being suffocated? GET OUT OF THE HOUSE GIRL! Leave, go to the mall by yourself or some friends. Schedule time to be with people other than your S.O. to remind you of what it’s like to spend time with them. Living with your partner and having them around all the time can make you forget why you like spending time with them in the first place. If this is happening, take some time to yourself. It’s okay to need to get away and have some “you time” or time with your mom or besties. Your partner will understand your need for some time away and be more appreciative of you when you come back.
Living with your partner is such a fun thing. You get to really see who they are, how they live, and grow even closer. While you might learn some things you didn’t really want to know, I promise it will make your relationship stronger in the end. If you are feeling annoyed, frustrated, or just a little crazy from it all, think about WHY you are feeling that way. What is bothering you? Do you need some time away or do you need to have an adult conversation with your S.O.. I have found that it’s better to just have the conversation than run away from it, so put your big girl pants on and face the music.