EPISODE 103: [EDUCATION] How to Stand in your power & not let fear hold you back

Have you ever questioned whether or not you’re doing the right thing for yourself? Or maybe someone in your life is questioning your decisions and are making YOU question them too? Girl, you have SO MUCH power that you hold within you already, and it’s time for you to recognize it and utilize it in your own life every single day.

In today’s episode, I give you some practical ways you can hold onto that power and use it to become the most confident version of yourself. My hope is that you walk away from this episode even just 1% better than before you listened. You are a powerful being girlfriend, it’s time that you realize that and OWN IT.


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Maddy 0:08 Welcome to the living in sunshine podcast if you don’t know who I am, my name is Maddy. And I am so excited to have you tuning in to our weekly podcast episodes, where we chat all the things from tips and tricks to funny stories from my life that have helped me to truly live in the sunshine. In this space, we are all about encouraging, inspiring and giving you the tough love that you need to hear sometimes to realize that you are totally made for more than what you currently have in life, and that you hold the power to make the changes that you need to level up and live your best self. So buckle up, grab some water and let’s get into it. Hello, my dudes and welcome back into the living in sunshine podcast. My name is Maddy Frey. And I am so excited that you are here today. I feel like I just said my name is so weird. My name is Maddie Frey. And I’m so glad that you’re here today. Today we are wrapping up our conversation all about confidence. If you have missed any of the episodes so far for March, go back and give them a listen. We all month long have talked about how to boost your confidence, I have shared my own open conversation about my own confidence journey. Last week, we talked about the number one thing that is crushing your confidence and how you can control it and take back control to be more confident. And today we are going to be talking about how to stand in your power and not let fear hold you back. Because I know from my own experience and from talking to women in the sunshine squad community space, that this is really tough. Like this is really tough, right. And this is something that is really hard for women to do. And it really does impact our confidence day in and day out. But before we dive into today’s episode, be sure to check out the sunshine squad. In the month of March. We also talked about the topic of confidence all month long in a really deep way. The Sunshine squad is my online membership community space for women to come together to learn, grow and thrive together. In that space, you get access to exclusive trainings and coaching and resources that you literally can’t get anywhere else. It’s essentially like this podcast, but like jacked up and full of additional resources and people to connect with and grow with. So if you are on the hunt for an online membership, where you feel welcomed and accepted and included, be sure to check out the sunshine squad, I have linked it in the show notes. It’s my favorite place to hang out on the internet. And I hope you decided to check it out and jump in there today. So that way, you can get all of the resources on confidence, all of our past resources on previous topics, and all of the things that we have to come as we move into a new month of April. So for today’s episode, my friend I wanted to talk about and I wanted to share with you how you can stand in your power and not let fear hold you back. And this is something that I have really had to learn and grow and be able to master and I even now I wouldn’t say that I have mastered it. Because there are times and things that I have done and am doing currently, that scare the crap out of me and make me wonder, you know who I am and the mission that I’m on and the things that I’m sharing and the the experiences that I’m trying to create. And so it’s one of those things that is not a perfect process. And it’s not something that we can do and learn how to do and then never falter in it right? Just like confidence. It’s one of those things that comes and goes it fluctuates with the time of life, the season or the space that we’re in. And I want to share with you the things that have helped me to stand in my power and not let fear hold me back to hopefully inspire you to do the same. And to hopefully ignite this passion in your own heart to learn to trust yourself to learn to believe in your abilities to know that you are a powerhouse, you have something to offer you have abilities and skills and gifts to give to the world to give to the people in your own world. And I hope that what I share with you today helps you to start that journey of being your own person and standing and who you are, and going out there with confidence with a passion and a an energy that is unmatched. And so that way you can live your absolute dream life and a life that you are obsessed with. So there’s a few things that I do to stand in your power. And for you to understand why I do these things. I do feel like I need to kind of give you some personal backstory. So I’ve talked about my past and how I was raised a bunch of times on the podcast, but in case this is your first time listening. I grew up in a very hostile environment. I see suffered through childhood abuse, physical and verbal abuse, I lived in a very chaotic environment, I grew up through poverty, all of these things, and in that kind of environment in order to survive you, again, from my experience, you have two types of responses, one being to be the loudest one in the room to make sure that you are seen heard and taken care of, or to sort of become a wallflower and to turn your voice off, and to just let things continue to happen to you. Because you’ve kind of created this internal barrier, this internal wall, to where things can be happening around you, people can be saying or doing things, and you just completely shut yourself off from the world. And I 100% was the kid who shut myself off from the world for the longest time. And what that has done in my adult years has led people to believe that they can say things or act in certain ways or question what I’m doing, and that’s okay. Like, they think that that’s okay, when that’s not obviously that’s not okay, I recognize that now as an adult. And to prevent those outside voices, those outside opinions from making me falter in who I am. And knowing who I am, is I have to learn and I have had to learn how to block out the extra noise that’s around you. And I’m sure at least one human being listening, listening to this episode knows exactly what I’m talking about, right? You want to go out and start a business, you want to start a new relationship, you want to move across the country, you want to start a new job, you want to quit your job, because your your job sucks the life out of you. But every single time you try to take a step to doing that someone or something in your life, makes you question whether or not that’s the right move. They make you question whether or not you’re doing the right thing, or you’re doing a good job. And the only thing that you can do in that moment, because we can’t control other people, right? We can’t, we cannot control other people, we have no control over the other people in our life. And I say that, because it’s important to know that we can’t control the people in our life. The only thing that we can control is ourselves, right? And the way that we can control that situation of someone continuing to talk down to us or make us question ourselves or say things like, you know, is she still doing that little thing of her is she you know, she even making enough money like is she how she been able to support herself, is to block out that extra noise, don’t let it get to you. And that might look like leaving a relationship or not talking to someone very often, it might look like eating lunch on your own in your own classroom or in your car. Because the people that you work with are so toxic, that you can’t have their voices there, their opinions, their thoughts, their beliefs in your ears, because it directly impacts how you feel about yourself, right. And that’s really important. And that’s something that you’re allowed to do. This is another way of saying to set a boundary, we are allowed we are able we can set boundaries, around and with the other people in our lives. If we know that it’s going to make us falter in our beliefs of the power that we hold within ourselves. I have said this so many times. I think this on the daily women are incredible powerhouses. And they aren’t like even just saying that, like I’m starting to smile because I think it is so true. And so incredible to think about the incredible women the incredible power that women hold. And we all hold it, we all have that inside of us. But the thing that we fail to do in order to recognize it, or to use it in our own lives, is we’re allowing these outside noises and opinions and thoughts and voices to impact us and to push our power down. And if you want to take control of that power, and you stand in it daily, you have to do your best to block out the extra noise around you that you have in your life. So you can utilize and call upon that power whenever you need to. 2023 is the year where we become so insanely confident that other people feel our energy when we walk into the room. It is the year that we say yes to ourselves and doing the things that bring us joy. It is the year that we master our mindsets so we can purposely pursue joy on a daily and are so obsessed with our lives that we will not and cannot shut up about it. If this sounds like the kind of year that you are ready to have beauty girl I have something just for you. I created the master your mindset guidebook for you to learn not only how to tap into the natural joys around you, but also how to boost your car confidence and make it stick. This guide book is packed with the resources and tools that you need to be the girl on the street that other people are asking, Where does she get her confidence. And the best news is, it’s completely free. You can snag the master your mindset guide book right now at living in sunshine.com/mindset. Master. And let me know what you think once you download it. Again, it’s living in sunshine.com/mindset Master no spaces. And once you download it, give me a shout out on Instagram and let me know what you think, my friend, you deserve to live a joyful and confident life. And this guidebook will help you get there. The next thing that I do, the other big thing that I do in order to stand in my power that you can do as well is to hype yourself up by doing things that you love. I know and one of the episodes this month I mentioned how I am in my gym, girlie era, right, like I’m going to the gym every day, not every day, like five or six days a week. And I really love it like I really enjoy it. And that was something that was not true. Even a year ago, even six months ago, like even three months ago, I would not have said, I want to go to the gym and I love going to the gym. But going to the gym is something that makes me feel so powerful, right. And it makes me feel so strong. And it makes me feel so good that I carry that energy, I carry that power that I get from going to the gym and lifting with me throughout my whole day. So even hours later, when I am sitting on a call with someone a coaching call with someone, one of my coaching clients, I bring that that power with me that energy with me because I gave myself the space in my day to do that thing that makes me feel powerful, that brings me joy and something that I love, like go to the gym, right? To I use that energy throughout the rest of my day. And so I want you to think about what is something in my life that I do, or that I could do that will make me feel strong and powerful. And something that is just for me that I can then use that energy that boosts that confidence that I get from doing that thing throughout the rest of my day. Because I do that every single day when I go to the gym. And it works. It’s real, like there is a gym high that you get from from going to the gym and lifting weights and feeling really strong and really powerful, both physically and metaphorically. And that’s something that you can do too. So ask yourself, what is something that I can do every day? Or most days that makes me feel really powerful? Is it a workout? Is it you know, doing something creative? Is it going on a walk, you know what I mean? It could be anything, right? Maybe it’s something that’s creative, but it makes you feel creatively strong. And you can use that energy throughout the rest of your day to feel really strong and really powerful. Okay, and here is the last thing that I do and that you can do to to stand in your power and not let fear hold you back. And this is the secret sauce to starting anything new and doing anything new that you want to do, okay? The secret sauce is to surround yourself with people who are doing what you want to do. Okay? Not people who are like thinking about doing what you want to do, they’re already doing it, right. They’re already in the room with those people who are million, you know, download podcasters, or they have a business or they’re in a healthy relationship or they are writing a book, they’ve already written a book, right? They’re already published, get in the room with the people who have done and are doing the things that you want to do. Find those rooms and put yourself in them. And when I say rooms, I mean like digital spaces to communities, Facebook groups, local women’s groups, maybe online women’s groups, right? Get in the space where you are going to be surrounded by people who are doing what you want to do. Because what happens is you can borrow their energy borrow some of their confidence in knowing this in themselves for yourself, right? When you stay close to the fire, the fire being people who are inspiring you to be your own kind of powerhouse Woman Be your own kind of you know, girl who goes after her dreams. When you stay close to those people, you will naturally start to be more confident. I shared at the start of the month, the first episode of this month that I had a community of women who were healthy, who were strong, they had great mindsets, they were doing all these things. It is because of them that I started my own journey to become the person I am today. And it is because I put myself in spaces where I could learn and I could listen and I could grow from those other people that I have the power and the confidence that I have today. The same can be true for you. You need to find where your people are, find the people who are doing what you want to do, and sit right next to them. Get as close to them as you can, and learn from them. Right? Ask yourself, if how you know she did this? How can I do it too? Right? Ask her, Hey, I’m really inspired by the fact that you wrote a book, how did you do that? Where did you start? I want to do that too. And listen, right? You have to listen and absorb and hear these people out and see what they have to say. And you can borrow some of that belief that they have in themselves. For you as well. That’s possible, you can do that for yourself, whenever you are ready to find that community. And honestly, this is part of the reason why I started the sunshine squad to give women a space a community where they can be at the table, they can sit at the table and they can say if she can start her own business, or if she can leave her toxic marriage, or if she can lose 100 pounds. Why not me? Why not me, right. And that is the power of community. That’s why we have the sunshine squad. That’s why we have the podcast and all of these other things in the living in sunshine space. Because when you surround yourself with the people who are doing what you want to do, you will be more likely to do it as well. And you will be more likely to become a reflection of those people and hold the same kind of confidence and power that they hold. And that is it. Those are three things that I do that you can do as well to stand in your power and not let fear hold you back. These things are not small. These things are not sexy, but I promise you, they will get you the results that you want to get when you commit to them. When you are consistent in them. When you follow through on them day in and day out, you will realize that you are a powerhouse and you don’t let fear hold you back because you’re intentionally doing these things. My friend, I hope this was the pep talk that you needed today. I hope that this was the message that you needed to hear. If it was send this episode to your bestie girl to your coworker who you love to your mom or your sister, and let them listen to it too. When we spread this message, more women will realize that they are powerhouses and that they hold a power that they deserve to exhibit and show and hold and share with the world. And that’s what we need. We need more powerful women in this world. And we need women like you to show up and spread that message around. Until next week, my friends, I am sending you all the sunshine, good vibes and I hope you make it a great day. That is all I have for you today my dudes and I hope you love today’s episode. If you did, I would seriously appreciate it if you went and left the show a review and rating on whatever platform you’re currently listening on. For every review and rating that you leave it truly helps the show grow and reach more women just like yourself. If you had any major takeaways or aha moments, be sure to take a screenshot of this episode posted to your social media stories with your biggest takeaways and tag me at living in sunshine so I can share it with my people as well. Again, thank you so much for hanging out with me this week. And until next time, I am sending you all the sunshine good vibes and I hope you make it a great day.