EPISODE 102: [HYPE GIRL CHAT] The number #1 thing crushing your confidence

No matter how many podcasts you listen too, books you read, or seminars you go too, your confidence will NOT grow or become consistent if you don’t master this ONE THING. In today’s hype girl chat, we talk about the #1 thing that is CRUSHING your confidence and how you can take back control of it to become the confidence queen you want to be! 


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Maddy 0:08 Welcome to the living in sunshine podcast if you don’t know who I am, my name is Maddie. And I am so excited to have you tuning in to our weekly podcast episodes, where we chat all the things from tips and tricks to funny stories from my life that have helped me to truly live in the sunshine. In this space, we are all about encouraging, inspiring and giving you the tough love that you need to hear sometimes to realize that you are totally made for more than what you currently have in life, and that you hold the power to make the changes that you need to level up and live your best self. So buckle up, grab some water, and let’s get into it. Good morning. Good morning, my dudes. And welcome back to another episode of The Living in sunshine podcast. I am so happy that you’re back tuning in for another brand new episode. And joining me again for another episode all about confidence. All month long. We are chatting confidence here on the living and sunshine podcast and what we can do as women to incite more confidence in ourselves, how we can use our past and our future to boost our confidence in the moment. And today in today’s hype world chat, we are going to be talking about the number one thing that is crushing your confidence because it might not be what you think it is. But it is something that you can control. But before we dive in to our episode, I do want to encourage you to check out the sunshine squad, my online membership for women to commit to live a purposely joyful life one that they love, one that they feel confident in every single day. It is linked in the show notes. And all month long, we are talking about this conversation of confidence, and a deeper, more unpacked kind of way than we are here on the podcast. We are covering lots of things here on the show. But in the sunshine squad, we’re really unpacking this topic of confidence, how we can boost our confidence, and how we can learn from one another to be more confident as we move throughout our lives. Because confidence is something that we can improve on when we open up our hearts and our minds to learn from other people who are confident. And that is exactly what the sunshine squat is a space to learn, grow and thrive from other people and learn what we can learn from those other people to improve our own lives. So if you are looking for that kind of community, be sure to check out the sunshine squad. Now, it is linked in the show notes. And it’s also always linked over on my Instagram bio. And my Instagram if you don’t follow me already is at living the letter N sunshine and it will be decided go follow me over there. And check out the things that I talked about ensure over there too. All right, my friends. So let’s dive in to this conversation of a confidence Crusher, something that crushes your confidence. And there are lots of things that can impact or or waver your confidence. It could be, you know, your time of the month, it could be how you feel about your body, it could be a conversation that you had. But all of the things in my opinion, in my experience, all of the things that that directly start to, you know, impact and crush your confidence. They all lead back to your mindset, right? So really, when we unpack the hard conversation we had with our husband, or that email that we got from our boss questioning that decision that we made, or we have a really weird experience at the gym. Right? We might think that those are what are impacting our confidence in that moment. But really, those things are impacting our mindset, which then determines our confidence, right? And I talk about mindset a lot, because I truly don’t believe that enough people understand the power that our minds have over our lives. And there are people out there who are toting the same kind of belief and story if you would, which I love because I feel like more people need to hear this message. But if your mindset isn’t in the right spot, nothing else will matter. Right? You won’t be confident because your mindset doesn’t doesn’t believe it doesn’t support that you are a confident person, if you have high confidence 90% of the time, but as soon as someone says, you know something that makes you question not and you are just ruined for the rest of the week. Your mindset isn’t in the right spot. And your mindset is what is ruining your confidence, crushing your confidence, not that conversation that you had, you know what I mean? And for me, I think that the number one thing that we can do to combat this is to approach how we support and how we grow our confidence in a really holistic way. And that’s why I encourage you to do things like consume personal development and setbacks. boundaries and give yourself quiet time and join communities that help you to improve. Because mindset is the number one thing that will crush your confidence every single time. And let me give you some examples because I think that examples are really important and really helpful in this conversation. So the first example that I can think about is that you are a super confident human being. And let’s say you go to the gym, and I’m going to use that as an example because I’m currently on my own gym, girly journey. And you go to the gym, and you have this like, really weird experience where you’re, you’re super confident, you go, and you know what you’re doing, you have your plan. But as you’re working out, you see two other people like seemingly talking about you, right? Maybe one of them points at you. And they’re like whispering to their friend, and you start to like, get a little bit weirded out, because you’re like, What the heck are they talking about? Why are they looking at me, they’re talking about me. And then all of a sudden, you’re like, super self conscious, you’re super self conscious, right? You’re like, super self aware, and you want to maybe leave that area of the gym, or you just want to leave the gym entirely right? The thing that impacted your confidence wasn’t that they were, you know, potentially pointing at you and talking about you. But it was that your mindset is putting the perception is setting the perception that they’re talking about you in a negative way. Right? It is telling you, your mindset is telling you that they are talking about you in a negative way, which is then making you believe that you’re doing something wrong, or that there’s something wrong with you, right? So it’s not so much that they are talking about you because they can be saying like, holy crap, she has a huge butt. Like, I wish my butt was as big as hers, or like, she’s so strong, like, look how much she’s lifting right now. Right? But you are starting to feel weird, and lack that confidence and you feel your confidence going down? Because your mindset? Is it rooted in the space to think and to instantly or to to inherently believe that they can be saying good things about you. Right? It instantly jumps to the assumption that they are bad mouthing you or talking smack, right? So there’s one example. Another example that you might have experienced is the opportunities that you say yes or no to, right? Whether it’s at work, maybe taking a new job, maybe going out on your own to start your own business. Maybe it’s saying yes to going on a date or meeting a new friend or anything like this, right? Let’s say that you are presented with the opportunity to get to get a promotion at work, right? Your boss comes to you and they say, you know, hey, Jenna, I don’t know why I’m using the name Genesis, first thing that came to my mind. Hey, Jenna, like we love your work. We’re so excited to have you part of our team. We have this new opportunity coming up at our Seattle field office, would you be willing to you know, interview for this new position. And normally at work, you feel really confident, right? You know what you’re doing? You love what you do, you know, you’re good at it, all of these things. But now you’re presented with this opportunity to grow and scale your skills, and you are wanting to crap your pants, you’re like, there’s no way I can’t do this moving is not an option. It’s gonna be too hard. I can’t do this. I don’t want to say Yes, right. And it’s not the opportunity that’s making you want to say no, it’s your mindset and believing that you aren’t maybe able to take on a new challenge, or you won’t be able to rise to the occasion. Or it might be that you don’t feel like you are skilled enough to take on that option, or you won’t be able to learn the skills that you need to know. But again, it’s not the opportunity that was presented to you that’s making you whack your confidence. It’s your mindset to instantly know and believe and be rooted in the fact that you will be able to rise to the occasion, this challenge is going to be a good thing because it’s going to make you grow, it’s going to make you uncomfortable, it’s going to push you outside of your comfort zone. So you can get better and smarter and more skilled at what you do for a living. Right. Do you see how in those two examples two very different examples? It all comes back to mindset. So if you are someone who is struggling with your confidence, I encourage you to check in with your overall mindset, right? If you’re someone who struggles with being confident or or maintaining your confidence, even ask yourself when my confidence falters, or waivers or dips or whatever disappears. Was it the thing that happened to me that event that happened that person talking about me or my boss giving me a promotion? Or was it that my mindset took me to a place almost instantly or in that moment to make me lack a my own self belief, right? Because I’m sure if you took the time to unpack that experience, and take the time to really reflect on that, you will find that your mindset is the culprit behind crushing your confidence almost every single time. 2023 is the year where we become so insanely confident that other people feel our energy when we walk into the room. It is the year that we say yes to ourselves and doing the things that bring us joy. It is the year that we master our mindsets. So we can purposely pursue joy on a daily and are so obsessed with our lives that we will not and cannot shut up about it. If this sounds like the kind of year that you are ready to have a beauty girl, I have something just for you. I created the master your mindset guidebook for you to learn not only how to tap into the natural joys around you, but also how to boost your confidence and make it stick. This guidebook is packed with the resources and tools that you need to be the girl on the street that other people are asking, Where does she get her confidence. And the best news is, it’s completely free. You can snag it the master your mindset guide book right now at living in sunshine.com/mindset. Master. And let me know what you think once you download it. Again, it’s living in sunshine.com/mindset Master no spaces. And once you download it, give me a shout out on Instagram and let me know what you think, my friend, you deserve to live a joyful and confident life. And this guidebook will help you get there. So just know that when you feel your confidence falter, this is the beautiful part about mindset is that you can control how quickly you recover, you control what your mind tells you, you are in control of your mind, it does not control you. So if you are at the gym, and you see people looking at you or talking about your whatever, right? First and foremost, remind yourself that you have no idea what they’re saying unless you go and ask them right. And if you have the balls to go and do that I kissed the ground that you walk out because I would I do not have the balls to do that in my own life. But you can also change those thoughts that your brain is presenting to you and telling you are true and say, I don’t really know that that’s true, because I’m not a mind reader. And I can’t hear what they’re saying. And I don’t know what they’re saying unless I go and ask them. So I’m just going to believe and have faith that they’re saying good things about me. And if they are saying bad things about me, then they’re not my people, then they’re not people that I want to be friends with. And I don’t want to be in the same environment with them. So I’m going to relocate, not because I lack confidence in myself, but because their energy is negatively impacting me. And I don’t have to put up with that you know what I mean? We have the power to control and regain control of our mindset in an instant in a moment’s notice. And we just do that by pausing in our thoughts, reflecting on whether or not they are true. And either choosing to take action on them, right, do something about it, or let them pass. And if you have thoughts that are making you waver in your confidence, I encourage you to wonder whether or not they’re worth giving more time than you’ve already given them. In that split second of a moment’s notice that this entire part like this entire reflection process happens nine out of 10 times our thoughts are just thoughts and we need to let them go. And we have the power always to do that. So that way we can maintain and conserve our confidence throughout our days. And that is everything that I have for you today my friend for our hype girl chat as always short, sweet and to the point. So that way you can use this as a reminder as a reset button as a you know, guiding light to your day or the rest of your week to know that you are in control of your thoughts. You are in control of your mindset and in return in relation to that you are in control of your confidence. I hope this episode was what you needed to hear today. If it was please let me know send me a message over on Instagram. And until next week, my friends, I am sending you all the sunshine good vibes. And I hope you make it a great day. That is all I have for you today my dudes and I hope you love today’s episode. If you did, I would seriously appreciate it if you went and left the show a review and rating on whatever platform you’re currently listening on. For every review and rating that you leave it truly helps the show grow and reach more women just like yourself. If you had any major takeaways or aha moments, be sure to take a screenshot of this episode posted to your social media stories with your biggest takeaways and tag me at living in sunshine so I can share it with my people as well. Again, thank you so much for hanging out with me this week. And until next time, I am sending you all the sunshine good vibes and I hope you make it a great day.