EPISODE 118: [STORYTIME] How I Use My Traumatic Past to Fuel My Joyful Present

Let’s get *personal*, shall we? In today’s new episode, I share with you my personal history which includes things like domestic abuse, parental alcohol abuse, and living in poverty. As weird as it might sound, I am proud of my personal history and all it encompasses. If you are someone who has dealt, or is currently dealing with, similar situations, this episode is for you. We can live a joyful life, no matter how traumatic things get. I hope this episode gives you that hope. 

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Welcome to the living in sunshine podcast. If you don’t know who I am, my name is Maddie. And I am so excited to have you tuning in to our weekly podcast episodes, where we chat all the things from tips and tricks to funny stories from my life that have helped me to truly live in the sunshine. In this space, we are all about encouraging, inspiring and giving you the tough love that you need to hear sometimes to realize that you are totally made for more than what you currently have in life, and that you hold the power to make the changes that you need to level up and live your best self. So buckle up, grab some water, and let’s get into it.

Good morning. Good morning. And welcome back to the living in sunshine Podcast. I’m so happy that you are here today. And I’m also so grateful that you’re here. If you are tuning in for another episode. Know that I appreciate your continued listening of the show so much. And I am going to ask you a favor, could you please send this episode or one of your favorite episodes of the show to a friend that you think would love it, I would love to have new people listening and reach more people so that way we can spread this message from the living in Sunshine Community that everyone deserves to live a life of joy and a life that they’re obsessed with. And you can help in that mission by sending this episode or again, one of your favorite episodes to a friend who you think would love it. If you do send me a message on Instagram. Let’s chat about why that’s your favorite episode. And when you do know that I am so grateful for you. So in today’s episode, we are getting personal. And I just want to throw out a warning there right here right now in case you are listening, I will be talking about themes such as divorce, domestic abuse, substance abuse, all of these different types of things. They are a part of my personal story and my personal history. And I think that it’s really important for us to share our stories. But if you are someone who that’s going to negatively impact your current emotional or headspace, or maybe you have little kids in the car, just keep that in mind, you can always come back to this episode when you’re in a better headspace, or just a better environment in general. But I just wanted to give out that warning just in case you needed it. But it’s going to be a good one because I’m going to be sharing with you how I use my pre traumatic past to feel my joyful present. But before we dive into it, I do want to remind you that if you are looking to start your journey to joy, your own personal journey to joy, I have the perfect journal for you. I created a 30 days to joy read and response style journal where each day you can sit down for about 510 minutes and read a prompt that I wrote specifically for you and respond as to how that thing has brought you joy. This journal can be used digitally or you can also print it off and bind it like in a binder or like in a standard traditional journal kind of way. And I have linked it down in the show notes for you in case you’re ready to kick off your own journey to joy. If you do grab the journal, let me know what you think, send me a message over on Instagram. And I hope it serves you and bringing you more joy on the daily. So let’s go ahead and get a little bit personal. Um, so I’ve talked about these things before. But in case you are new here, I need you to know a little bit of personal history. And I’m not sharing this for guilt or to make anyone feel bad or to call anyone out. Or even for people to be like oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe like, you know what I mean? Like I’m not looking for pity, right? I’m sharing one because I think it’s important that we share our stories, right when it feels good to us when we feel safe to do so I think that you can breed a lot of connection, and relationships and friendships through sharing. But I also think that it’s important to share your story in order to make other people know that they’re not alone. And they’re not the only ones, which is why I do all of the sharing that I do both in the podcast and over on my Instagram because I never want anyone to feel like they’re the only one because that feels really isolating. Right? So let’s go back all the way back rewinding time. Back Back back to when I was three. So my family, my parents specifically actually divorced by the time I was three years old, Their divorce was finalized. I am a child of divorce as many millennials are. And I’m honestly happy that I am I know that that might sound pretty ass backwards. But I kind of see that entire decision of my parents as a very positive thing because I believe that if my parents had stayed together, for the sake of their kids, things would not have been the way that they were and they probably would have been worse. Right? And so I say that because I think that and I don’t know because I’m not a parent, but I’ve you know, seen in movies and TV shows and I’ve heard of people staying together for the sake of their kids. But I think that when you aren’t selfish in that way to practice self preservation, it actually does a lot more good

And then it does bad. So just keep that in mind. So my parents were divorced by the time I was three. And between the ages of early recognition and cognition, to the point of where I was probably 11, or 12, I was raised in a very hostile environment where it was normal to put your hands on others in a very aggressive, violent way. Where it was normal to see alcohol abuse and substance abuse, where it was normal for things to be thrown, and people to be hurt, and screaming to be had. All of that was very normal in my life growing up, I’m definitely the daughter of domestic abuse. Domestic abuse is a huge part of my own personal story. And as is living in poverty, I don’t know if my family would personally align with that word. But I have done my own research and my own understanding of that word. We lived in poverty. For several years, I was the daughter of a single mother who was doing everything in her power to do the best for her kids and to provide for her kids. But things like eviction, things like having people give us their food, things like going without, not that we ever went without, like the necessary things, but going without the latest and greatest shoes, or the latest and greatest phone, or the latest and greatest things, right? All of that is part of my personal history, right. And I know what it feels like to feel like you don’t have enough or to feel like you’re unloved or to feel like you’re unsafe, or to feel as if things will never go your way. I know what all of those things feel like because of how I was raised. And parentals. If you’re listening, I want to say this. And if you’re a friend of our family, and you’re listening, I want to say this, I’m proud of how I was raised, I am the way that I am because of how I was raised. I love my parents, I love both of my parents. But parents are flawed. Parents are not perfect. My parents are not perfect, but I still love them. And I appreciate everything good that they have ever done for me, because I am who I am because of this personal history. Okay. And I’m so grateful for what you’ve taught me, what you’ve shown me what I’ve learned from you, I wouldn’t be who I was without it. And so if you are mom and dad listening to this show, know that I appreciate you more than you know, but that our history is part of who I am now. And it’s part of what I do now. And it’s important that we share that. So that way we can teach other people how they can do the same how they can use their story to fuel their joyful present. Right. So how do I do this? How do I use my traumatic past? Right, and I’m currently reading the book, the body keeps score. Great book, very scientific, I’ve had to like, read it in little digestible bites, if that makes sense. But it’s a great book. And it’s definitely something that I resonate with. I’m like, Oh, yep. Then there Opia done that. Oh, yep, survived through that. So if you are a child, or victim or survivor, or whatever you want to call yourself of past trauma, I really do recommend that book. But how can we use our past or current hard presence to fuel a joyful now in a joyful future, put a finger down. If any of these things have been or sound like you, you haven’t been able to take action on the idea or dream that you have, because you aren’t able to determine what the right first move was. You currently feel stuck in your head about what to prioritize in life or in your business. So that way you can get to your next major milestone. You thought to yourself, I wish I had someone just to talk to you who will listen to my words, and give me some guidance. If you put a finger down for any of these things, then girl, we need to have a chat because you don’t need to feel like this forever. Actually, I can promise you that you can totally get past these feelings and an hour or less with one clarity call with me. What’s a clarity call you ask? Well, it’s a one hour action packed zoom coaching call with me where you bring your burning questions and we work together to get them answered. Whether you’re wanting to map out the launch of your next big business offer, or wanting to get rounded over those mindset hurdles that are standing in the way from you turning your dreams into reality. This coaching call is for you. Grab all the details that you need and book your own clarity call today for yourself via the link in the show notes. If you’re unsure if a clarity call is for you, feel free to connect with me via email or over on Instagram and let’s chat about it. Clarity, excitement and most importantly joy are right on the other side of one conversation with me and I can’t wait to help you get there.

Well, for me, the way that I do this is I every day recognize and reflect on where I used to be. And yes, where I used to be was not because of the product of my own decisions. So if you’re currently in a situation that you are in because of decisions that you made, know that this might feel a little bit different, right? Because for me, I didn’t decide all of the things that I went through, I wasn’t actively part of those decisions, but I was a product of them. And I was impacted by them. And now as an adult, I have the decision to either repeat those decisions or not. And that is why and that is what is going to produce whatever kind of future or current present I have, right? So what do I do to fuel a joyful present and fuel a joyful future, right? Like I said, I reflect on almost daily, where I am now. And I look back, like physically, I just turned my whole body. And I look back, and I think, look how far I’ve come look at where I once was. And I think this about my whole family, look at where we used to be. And look at where we are now. We’re all here. We’re all okay, we’re all making do with what we have. And we’re doing okay, right. We’re all thriving in our own ways that makes sense for us. And that’s something to celebrate. Right? Getting here now to today. After going through, and growing and learning through all of those things. Look at how far we’ve come. Oh my gosh, right. Maybe you can say the same thing for your life. Look at how far I’ve come. Oh, my gosh, I am so amazing. And what a thing to be grateful for. Right? Other ways that I use my past, right filled with things like domestic abuse, disordered eating, substance abuse, all of these things that could result in a pretty unstable adult, right, which I don’t think I am, I feel like I’m pretty level headed. And I And I’m kind of on the right path, right a bath of, of growth and personal well being. I also am active and aware of what I choose to do. And let me explain that every single day, I choose to be grateful for what I’ve learned in my life. Every single day, I choose to be grateful for the experiences that I have now, versus the experiences that I’ve gone through in the past, right? We can always choose to be grateful and always choose to practice gratitude for what we have now, versus what we didn’t have in the past, or even what we don’t have now, right? There are definitely things in life now where I’m like, I could say, oh, I wish I had that, oh, I wish I could do that, oh, I wish I could go there. But I don’t. I actively choose to think and be grateful for the fact that I live in a beautiful home, I have five dogs who I love. I’m in a very healthy, stable relationship. And I get to spend all day every day doing things that make me happy. I choose to be grateful. And I choose to reflect on the good over the bad. And the reason I do this is because I know what it feels like to go through all of those bad things. I’ve been there. I don’t want to go back there. Why in the world, if you are someone who has been through life before, right, which we all have, in some certain way, shape or form, you know, when I say, why would you when you go through life, you know what I mean? When I say go through life, because we’ve all gone through it, right? We’ve all had those moments or situations or scenarios that we’d never want to have to go through again. So why in the world? Would you spend your day sitting in that season of life worrying or contemplating, or, or using it to continue to play the victim? Why would you do that? Why would you waste your precious energy living in the past, when you could in turn, decide to live in the present, or even start to think about and work towards a future that you’re so obsessed with that you’re just like, I cannot wait until I’m in it. I cannot believe that I’m in it right now. Right? So I choose. I choose to feel grateful for all of the things that I have now, versus the things that happened to me in the past or the things that I currently don’t have right now. Right? And then the last thing that I do, the last way that I use my past to fuel my joyful present, is I always remember where I came from. Like I said at the beginning of this episode, you guys, I’m grateful to a point for the way that I grew up, because it made me who I am today. I have the work ethic. I have the creativity. I have the tenacity, I have the personality of I will effing make this work whether or not

Someone wants me to do it, I’m doing this. And I will figure this out if it kills me, all because of how I was raised, all because of my past, all because of those lessons I had to learn along the way. And all of the lessons that I’m learning now, we never stop learning, so long as we continue to have an open mind. So if you are someone who has a past that you would like to forget, or you’re currently in a present, that you’re not proud of, I want to remind you and be an example of the type of person you can become the kind of person who says, Yeah, I had a pretty messed up past or Yeah, I’m just currently going through the wringer. But that’s not going to determine the kind of person I can become. Right? I share my story, not for guilt, or shame or pity, or anything, I share my story to give you the hope and the encouragement, that you can do the same thing in your life because you can, it’s not going to be easy. It’s not always going to be pretty or sexy or fun. But it’ll be worth it. Because you will be able to become the kind of person that you love, and the kind of person that other people want to be around and the kind of person that somebody else wants to love. But you first have to decide to become that person. And I hope that by hearing my story, by hearing what I went through, you know that you can do the same, because you can I believe in you. Now it’s time for you to believe in you too. And that is everything I have for you today, my friends, I hope it gave you some insight into my own personal history. I hope it gave you some hope and some encouragement for the kind of person that you can become even if you’re currently going through it or you have gone through it in the past. And before I send you on your way today to go seek some joy. I want to read a review of the week. So this review reads positive vibes. Since the pandemic I have had some big life changes that come with new juggles and new struggles. Listening to Matty’s podcast helps me to keep things in perspective, smile and honor my own feelings and need. Maddie is like one of those best friends that just makes you know that everything is going to be okay. This podcast takes me from hopelessness to hopeful will on a quick drive back from dropping my kids off at school. Thank you, Maddie. My friend. This review is so thoughtful and so kind and so vulnerable. And I want to thank you for leaving it in the first place. If you have not yet left a review for the show. Please go do so right now. You can scroll down on Apple podcasts and leave a rating and review and when you do know that I am sending you a high five and a hug from afar. My friend I hope that you have enjoyed this month’s episodes all about joy. And if you have send me a message over on Instagram and let’s chat about him. Until next week, I am sending you all the sunshine, good vibes. And I hope you make it a great day. That is all I have for you today my dudes and I hope you love today’s episode. If you did, I would seriously appreciate it if you went and left the show a review and rating on whatever platform you’re currently listening on. For every review and rating that you leave it truly helps the show grow and reach more women just like yourself. If you had any major takeaways or aha moments, be sure to take a screenshot of this episode posted to your social media stories with your biggest takeaways and tag me at living in sunshine so I can share it with my people as well. Again, thank you so much for hanging out with me this week. And until next time, I am sending you all the sunshine good vibes and I hope you make it a great day.