EPISODE 153: [HYPE GIRL CHAT] It’s An Automatic NO If You Never Ask in The First Place



Do you currently have something on your heart that you know you want more than *anything* but it requires you to ask someone else to support you in order to make it happen and just even asking the question makes your stomach uneasy? Well friend, this episode is for you! 


In today’s episode, I share with you a very real, very recent story of mine where I had to ask a big scary question that I almost didn’t ask because I counted myself out before I even tried. When I took the leap of faith and asked the question I needed to ask, I got the answer I wanted all along. But if I had never asked, it would have been an automatic no. 


I hope this episode gives you a boost of motivation and hope to ask the question you need to ask in order to get to the thing you really want.



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Maddy 0:01 Hey bestie and welcome to the living in sunshine podcast. I’m your host, Maddy Fry and around here we are all about encouraging, inspiring, and giving you the tough love that you need to hear to get out there and live as your best self. Each and every Wednesday, you can expect to learn tangible tips to help you find your bigger purpose. be given simple action steps that you can take in order to make progress toward your biggest dreams. And hear how you can purposely pursue joy on the daily. So sit down, grab your favorite drink. And let’s have a girl chat. This is the living in sunshine podcast.

Maddy 0:39 Good morning. Good morning, my friends and welcome back to the living in sunshine podcast. I am super excited that you are tuning in for a brand new episode, especially today’s episode because it is my favorite one to record a hype girl chat coming in hot for your Wednesday morning. And this episode is for all of my girls who have a question or a request or a goal or a dream that they have on their heart that requires them to ask someone else to do something for them. But even asking that question makes you want to poop your pants or cry or freak out or panic or whatever. I am here today to give you a recent real life anecdote as to why you need to ask the question.

Maddy 1:22 And before we dive into today’s episode, I just want to encourage you to check out the link in the show notes for the living in sunshine personality quiz. If you are someone who is trying to pinpoint what your secret superpower is, and how you can leverage that to live your best life, this personality quiz is going to tell you exactly what your superpower is. And also how you can use it to live a life that you are obsessed with. I have taken time to pinpoint four unique individual personalities and women within our community. And put it all wrapped it all up in this super fun quiz. It’s 10 questions will take you less than 90 seconds to take includes Taylor Swift gifts, gilmoregirls References all of these super fun things. And at the end, I send you free resources and tools from me that will help you to implement certain strategies, systems, life changes, habits, routines, all the things so that way you can live your most joyful life. So if you haven’t yet taken the living in sunshine personality quiz, go do so right now via the link in the show notes. Or by heading over to living the letter N sunshine at.com/survey. You can take it there as well. And let me know what you get. I’m always curious to see what people are I had a friend recently take it and tell me that she’s a joy seeker, which I totally see for her. And I want to know what it is for you. So go take the quiz now. Let me know where you are. And stay tuned to learn how you can use your superpower to live your best life.

Maddy 2:44 Okay, so this episode is a big public service announcement and reminder of something that we all already know. But I feel like we sometimes forget to actually take action on because we get into routines or we get into our own heads that prevent us from taking this action step that must sometimes happen in order for a dream or a goal or a next milestone to be achieved. Okay. And the reminder is this right? It is an automatic No, if you never asked in the first place, okay, in this reminds me of that if anyone has ever seen the classic, iconic, revolutionary, in my opinion, Hillary Duff movie a Cinderella story. I don’t know the quote verbatim, but whatever it is that her dad says to her words, like, you never hit her home run if you never step up to the plate, or you lose every game that you never play in or whatever. It’s the same thing. Okay. And this is such a reminder that I think we sometimes need that I personally needed to experience in order to remember. And I wanted to share this story with you today in case you are stuck, or feeling restricted or like you really, really, really want something but asking someone else to give you something or to give you an opportunity. Has You really scared and has you really nervous. Okay, so here recently, I have done a couple of things locally, that have been really exciting, but have also been really, really, really nerve wracking. And I had this goal that I set months and months and months ago last summer I set this goal. And in order to finalize that goal, in order to finish out that goal, I had to approach a local person here in the city to support me in achieving this goal. And just the thought of asking the question, will you do this for me, made me so scared and so nervous, that I legitimately just said to myself, I’m not even going to ask. I’m not even going to ask because it’s got to be a no, I already know that. It’s going to be a no it’s it’s, they’re not gonna say yes. They’re not gonna want to help me in this way. They’re not gonna want to support me in this way. There’s no way that they’re gonna say yes to me. So I’m not gonna ask I’m just I’m not gonna do it. And so it was one of those things where I had convinced myself, before I had done any of the work. Before I had even asked the question to this person, will you help me in this way? I already told myself that they weren’t going to say yes. And I had already convinced myself to not do the work that it would take of me to even ask the question, I had counted myself out immediately right off the bat, before doing or even proposing the question to this person in the first place. Because in my head, I wasn’t worthy of a yes. And my work wasn’t recognizable enough to get a yes, right. And this happens sometimes, because we are our own worst critics. We are our biggest judges in life and in our work and in our dreams, and what we do, to where we can sometimes convince ourselves that other people immediately see us in the same way, when that’s not always true. And so I had this little internal conversation with myself, because I legitimately talk to myself and have full fledged conversations with myself, which I’m sure it’s probably normal to a certain extent, but this happens a lot. And I just said, just try, like, just just send the email, you never know what can happen. And this line came to me it’s an automatic No, it’s an immediate No, if you never asked in the first place, so you might as well try, like, what is the worst thing that’s gonna happen? You send this email and they ignore you. Okay, cool, fine, whatever, you are not physically or emotionally harmed in any way. You send this email and they say, No, totally fine. They have the right to say no, that has no reflection on how I feel about this thing, or what I did. And it probably isn’t a full representation of how they feel about my work, either. They say no, and not right now. Which means the door is still open for me to walk through later. Or the best case scenario is they say yes, and I get what I want. And I can check that thing off of my list, and be really excited that they said yes, right. And so I sat my butt down, I typed up an email, I put it in my best effort. I looked at this email, I crafted this email for probably an hour. And I hate email. Anyone who knows me knows that I hate emails, I avoid my email inbox, like the frickin plague. And I sent it off. And I stared at my little Blinky cursor for like, 30 seconds over the send button. Because I was like, I don’t know, I don’t know if I should do this. I can’t do this. They’re not gonna say yes, I should do this. No, don’t do this. You just hit send. And I literally you guys, close my eyes and clicked on the left little button on my mouse. And so 321 Go, and I hit the button. And I was like, Okay, well, now it’s out there. It’s, there’s nothing I can do. Now. I can’t unsend the email it is it is going through the universe. WebSphere whatever, internet space, and hopefully someone reads it. I’m gonna, I’m going to, you know, tell myself that I did my best. I believed in myself enough to hit send and to write the email in the first place. And just see what happens. You know what I mean? Like, I did the calculations of like, what would happen if they said no, what would happen if they said Not yet, bla bla bla, 12 hours later, no more like 24 hours later, Saturday morning, I come over into my office, which is rare. Okay. I am rarely in my office on a Saturday morning, because I’m usually out doing things. But something about sad that next day, I felt like, I should just check my email just just just to see, just to see, you know, maybe we’ll, I don’t know, let’s just open up my email. And I got the yes, that I wanted. And it wasn’t just a yes, it wasn’t excited. We’re so happy you told us about this. We’re so excited to do this for you. We’re so happy to support you in this way. Thank you for thinking of us, thank you for for giving us this opportunity to work with you in this way. And I literally scream I literally legitimately sat at my desk and screamed, reading this email from this very lovely human and was just taken aback with this wave of obviously excitement, but also just genuine gratitude for how excited this person was to to do this with me. And pride that I, you know, talked myself out of believing that I wasn’t worthy enough to have this opportunity and, and to reverse that kind of negative self talk that we all do so naturally. And also just genuine pure joy and excitement and all of the things to know that like I got my Yes, but the point of this isn’t to brag and be like I’m the coolest person ever. Like I did this thing, did it? No. The point of this story is to tell you right now listening aim to this podcast. If you have a question that’s been sitting on your heart, if you have an action step that you’ve been needing to take, in order to cross this goal off your to do list, or to get one step further towards your most ideal life, take this episode right here, right now as a reminder, to go after it. Just ask what is the worst thing they’re going to do? Say? No. Right? It’s, like I said, it’s an immediate No, if you never asked in the first place, and so really, you’ve got nothing to lose. Because if the best case scenario happens, where does that get you? Right? I can’t tell you where that gets you. Because it’s gonna be individual for everyone listening to this show. But just remember today, this week, as you carry on through the rest of this month, it’s an immediate No, if you never asked in the first place, right? You can’t win the game if you never play in the first place. So whatever the question, whatever the request, whatever the area of support that you need, whatever that is, ask for it today. Use this episode as a motivator as a, as a Kickstarter, a catalyst to go out there and put that energy out there into the world, that you are deserving of someone else’s, yes, you are worthy of someone else’s support and time. And know that there are people out there who will be excited, and maybe even as excited as you are, to work with you in whatever way that makes sense to you in whatever way that fits for your life, as you are to work with that. Put that energy out there into the world, hype yourself up, use this episode as a hype, you know, to get yourself motivated to go and do this thing. And then let me know what happens when you ask the question. I can’t promise you it’s always going to be a yes. I can’t guarantee you that just by asking the question, you’re gonna get what you want. But at least you know that you tried, right? And to me, that is probably my biggest fear. I don’t have a lot of fears. But my biggest fear in life is being old and dusty, crusty on my front porch of my home and saying I wish I would have right. What could have happened if I did this. I wish I would have asked that question. I would have I wish I could have reached out to that person or would have reached out to that person or done that thing or or whatever it might be right. Don’t wake up on your desk secrecy in wish that you would have asked the question now. Okay. That is everything I have for you today. My friend, go out there, ask the question, get the support, do the thing. Click Send on the email that’s been sitting on your screen for the last hour like it was for me, and let me know how it goes. If you enjoyed today’s episode, be sure to send it to a friend posted to your Instagram stories and tag me so I can see. And until next week, I am sending you all the sunshine, good vibes. And I hope you make it a great day.

Maddy 12:49 Girlfriend. Thank you so much for listening to today’s new episode. If you loved it, please send it to a friend share it on Instagram and tag me so I can see and consider leaving the show a rating or a review. Ratings and reviews are kind of like sharing or liking a post on Instagram and they really help the show grow and reach new women just like you. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a new episode. And until next week, I am sending you all the sunshine, good vibes and I hope you make it a great day.