EPISODE 154: [STORYTIME] An Open and Honest Conversation about Where I’ve Been (& Where I’m Going From Here)



Ya girl is roasted toasted BURNT OUT and there are very good reasons as to why. In today’s new episode, I am pulling the curtains back and sharing what’s been happening behind the scenes in my personal life and why I’ve been less than present in the Living in Sunshine spaces. 


In order to nurture myself in this season of burnout, I am making some intentional shifts in where I am focusing and spending my energy on. One of them being the podcast, so going forward the podcast will be releasing every other week for the next few months. If you want this type of consistent training, be sure to jump into the Sunshine Squad Community. I spend daily time there supporting the women in that community and would love to support you in that way! 


My hope is to get back to weekly episodes on the podcast, but for right now, this is the best thing for me and this business. Thank you for understanding and supporting me in this way.



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Maddy 0:01 Hey bestie and welcome to the living in sunshine podcast. I’m your host, Maddy Fry. And around here we are all about encouraging, inspiring, and giving you the tough love that you need to hear to get out there and live as your best self. Each and every Wednesday, you can expect to learn tangible tips to help you find your bigger purpose, be given simple action steps that you can take in order to make progress toward your biggest dreams. And hear how you can purposely pursue joy on the daily. So sit down, grab your favorite drink. And let’s have a girl chat. This is the living in sunshine podcast.

Maddy 0:39 Good morning. Good morning, my friends. And welcome back to the living in sunshine podcast. I am excited and also nervous to record today’s episode. Because this is going to be an open, honest conversation about where I’ve been and where I’m going from here. So for context, I’m recording this in March, the end of March, it’s actually March 29. And I posted to my stories if you remember me talking about this, I’m pre recording this super, super orally, about feeling super burnt out. So the energy of me today might not be the energy of me when this episode goes live. But a few months ago, I made the decision to use this podcast as a partial time capsule for myself. So that way, in 10 520 4050 years from now, I can go back and listen and be like, Oh, she was so cute. I remember that girl. Um, but just know that things might have changed, right? I might, I might by the time this is I’ll be in a totally different spot, good or bad. So we’ll just see what happens. But for context of this episode, and of just life, the last eight months have been bananas. But but but the only thing I can describe them as we came in to 2024 we being my husband and I and he and I have an episode going live at some point this month. I don’t know if it’s if it has already gone live or it’s going live after this one. But he and I have had a really coming into 2420 24 had already had a really wild final four months of the year. We had some some changes happened in our family, we had some family emergencies to deal with. We traveled for weddings, we had high highs and low lows and in both in life and work but also within our own marriage and relationship. And we came into 2024 Like, ready for a good year, I came into 2024 excited and focused and motivated with all of these amazing goals that I still want to pursue and work on this year. Um, and 2024 It’s kind of felt like has just kind of been like, yeah, no, that’s gonna happen. At least not right now. At least not yet. Right? The power of yet is such a powerful, magical, strange, sometimes maddening word, but not yet those things aren’t happening. And so the first three months of 2024 have been truly insane. We had to put my childhood dog down at the beginning of January. And I’ve referenced that before in past episodes. I’ve talked about it on my stories. I’m sure those of you who have never had a pet before are like why is this girl not getting over this it has the grieving process of that has taken much longer than I expected it would and took me completely by surprise, which just makes me completely avoid it of the thought of our other dogs passing on. But we are in a season where all of our dogs are very, very old and all have medical needs of their own. We had to start cancer treatment for another dog. My husband lost his job. Back in February. We have been just piled on with tons of vet bills. And then we had some pretty unexpected tax situations come up from things that are not within our control at all. And just have had a lot of behind the scenes good, bad, beautiful, wonderful, hard, tough growth, inspiring, you know sparking things happening. And so if you are someone who has followed me for a really long time on Instagram, you probably have noticed that I have been very upset on Instagram. And that is because life is lifing really big, really crazy, really wild. And I truly the last seven, eight months have gone into maintenance mode. And it’s like when you go on vacation, and you set your thermostat on, like automatic or whatever, and it just runs, it kicks on when it needs to kick on, but then it kicks off on it when it’s at the right temperature. That’s kind of how I’ve been approaching living in sunshine and my in my business. And it pains me so deeply. I have had conversations about this with friends and business friends, I have shed tears over this, I have journaled over this. And I have stressed myself out about this, because I know that I have not been showing up for this community and for this brand in this this vision and this steadfast love and admiration for what I’ve done with living in sunshine, for the in the way that I’ve wanted to for the last, you know, six to eight months, and as a tried and true happy Hustler, that kills me on the inside. And the reason I’ve been so absent is because of life, because of needing to show up for my clients who I support as an online service provider as best as I can. And because of new things and projects that I’ve picked up over the last couple of months, that have brought me immense joy, but have also taken up some of my creativity levels, and my attention levels and my work hours. And this is not an episode where I’m like living in sunshine is going away. Absolutely not, that’s not happening. What I am saying in this episode is that I’m in a season of growth. And sometimes when a plant grows, it has to shed some leaves that are no longer serving it in order to grow and get stronger and get bigger into bloom into a beautiful looking flower. And in this season, I am genuinely in a season of growth, where I’m trying to figure out what a new balance looks like, with now three very exciting and amazing and joyful and things I’m so grateful of but also three very time and energy and focus heavy jobs essentially is is really what they all are. Because I never, you know, let myself just breathe, I always have to add something else. This is all self inflicted, I want you to know that. These three things are all self inflicted, but I’m trying to find a new balance right and in sometimes to find a new balance, you have to take some things off your plate. And so what does this look like for this space? What does this look like for for living in sunshine, but also for other things? First and foremost, it looks like not doing everything every day all the time, because it’s not possible. And it’s taken a couple of weeks of reflection. And it’s taken a couple of weeks of like, deeply sitting in my own brain being like, where do things feel resistant? Where do things feel hard? How can you support yourself intentionally out of this so that way, you’re not burning down the entire house that you have worked so hard to build over the last couple of years? And the answer to that is taking some things off my plate. And so if you don’t get a monthly sunshine email from me every single month over the next couple of months. That’s why if we go down to bi weekly podcast episodes for the summertime, so that way I can have some space to find some clarity and to focus on things that I really want to focus on, then that’s what it’s going to be. It might look like me not posting anymore on Instagram for the next couple of weeks or the next couple of months. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t still love everything I talk about in this space. It’s not that I don’t believe everything that I teach about in this space. It’s that I am practicing what I’m preaching. And I have said on the show, I have said on my Instagram stories, I have said in the sunshine squad community over and over and over again, that we all carry baggage with us metaphorically all the time. And that baggage might be trauma. That baggage might be our work life that baggage might include our family structures and our relationships or our mental health. And there are going to be times in life where you need to say my baggage is too heavy right now. And I need to set it down. I’m not forgetting it But I need to come back for it later. And if you’re in a community, like I am, which is so amazing, right? I consider living in sunshine in the sunshine squad, the women in that space specifically as such an amazing steadfast community of support and encouragement and, and care for you to say, I need to just can you help me carry this, can you help me carry this baggage not for very long, but just for a little bit. And that’s where I’m at, I need to put some of my bags down because they’re too heavy for me to carry. And that’s okay. And I hope that you listen, you can hear Ellie she’s currently dream barking in the background. Um, I hope that you listening to this, know that it’s okay for you to do the same thing. It’s May, we’re moving into the summer months where things naturally slow down, kids go on break, you might go on a vacation, plan some trips to the beach, whatever it might be. Use this time to, to set some things down to take a step back and to really reflect on who you are and what you want and where you want to go. And know that I’m doing the same thing with you. And I’m excited about it. To answer any kind of fears or questions or anything living in sunshine is not going anywhere. It’s not I’m not quitting, I’m not leaving it. I am just taking time to gain some focus, and some clarity on where I want to go next. And pinpointing where I want to focus my energy and attention in this space because I will go back some nights and scroll through my limit my Instagram account and be like, this girl is so on fire. And so passionate and so motivated and inspired and inspired and all of these things. And that girl a year ago is not that girl right now I am burnt out, I feel like a dusted crusted piece of toast. And I’m not inspired. And I’m not motivated. And I’m not feeling the desire to show up and the way that I that I was a year ago. And again, for a person like me, who takes a lot of pride and routes, whether she wants to or not, whether she’s working on it in therapy with Mary or not roots, a lot of self worth in the work that she does. That’s really painful. And so I’m taking time, and I’m taking things off my plate, I’m setting my bags down, metaphorically speaking, right? To just find clarity, and to refocus. And to take breath, and to not put so much pressure on myself to do all the things all the time. So where are we going from here? We’re not going anywhere. First and foremost, there will still be podcast episodes coming out this summer. I have some amazing, wonderful interviews with amazing, incredible women who I’m obsessed with coming to the show over the next few months. But instead of four episodes a month, you might just get two or you might get three, right you never know. You know, I like to throw stuff at you guys all the time that I’m not planning for. You might see less of me online. And that’s not because I don’t love you. And that’s not because I don’t love living in sunshine. But it’s because I need that space to focus on a lot of big things that are happening in life and in work and a new areas of work that I’ve managed to to start up over the last couple of months. And I need to do what I can do to as I’ve been saying backstep out of burnout in a really intentional way. And I don’t share this for you to be like Oh woe is Maddie feel bad for her feel sorry for her. Whatever. No, I share this. I never shared this kind of stuff with you guys for pity. You guys know that by now I hope if you’re if this is the first episode you listen to for me, please go listen to other episodes. I promise they’re not always like this. But I share this because I want you to know that if you need to do the same thing to that’s okay. As a okay. It doesn’t mean that you don’t love your goals or you’re obsessed or you want them bad enough, or you’re not trying hard enough or you you you don’t want to be successful like everyone else. It just means that you’re human, and you’re showing you’re human and you need to do what you need to do to support the human side of you. Okay, so just know that for the next couple of months, we are really doing some internal weaving me literally. I am doing a lot of internal work to drown out some of the noise and to slow down and to make space for new growth that is happening presently. Currently right now. To me big space for more clarity, because sometimes you need to slow down and I say this too. This is me walking the walk you guys not just talking to talk, making space for clarity to come to me and to to find clarity and what I want and what I want for this space. And hopefully, because I’m very hopeful to start new things in the fall, and to come back in the fall, feeling inspired, and refreshed and excited, and ready to kick some ass for the rest of 2024. I am manifesting a slower 2024 recipe 2024 I could really use a slow, easy, not crazy, chaotic rest of 2024 just the first 90 days of the year have been absolute bananas. And I’m excited to see what comes. So stick around. Don’t go anywhere. There are still podcast episodes to come. And I hope you listen to them. You’ll see me on Instagram just maybe not as much as you expect or are used to from past me. That’s on purpose. It’s all on purpose. I love you so much. If you want to chat more, send me a message over on Instagram. And I’ll see you next week for a very exciting interview that I hope you love. And until next time, I’m sending you all the sunshine, good vibes. And I hope you make it a great day.

Maddy 16:23 Girlfriend. Thank you so much for listening to today’s new episode. If you loved it, please send it to a friend share it on Instagram and tag me so I can see and consider leaving the show a rating or a review. Ratings and reviews are kind of like sharing or liking a post on Instagram and they really help the show grow and reach new women just like you. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a new episode. And until next week, I am sending you all the sunshine, good vibes and I hope you make it a great day.