EPISODE 155: [INTERVIEW] How Can You Start to Live in Alignment & Live a Life of Joy with Emily Keisler



If you have been struggling to determine what ‘living in alignment’ even means OR how to live in alignment, today’s new episode is for you. I have Emily Keisler on to talk with us about what aligned living and aligned action looks like and what it looks like when you’re not in alignment. Tune in now to learn how you can work to get yourself into alignment with your business, your relationships, and most importantly, yourself! 


Want more of Emily?

Connect with her on Instagram >> https://www.instagram.com/em_evolving/ 

Get more support from her >> https://emilykeisler.com/



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Maddy 0:01 Hey bestie and welcome to the living in sunshine podcast. I’m your host, Maddy Fry. And around here we are all about encouraging, inspiring, and giving you the tough love that you need to hear to get out there and live as your best self. Each and every Wednesday, you can expect to learn tangible tips to help you find your bigger purpose. be given simple action steps that you can take in order to make progress toward your biggest dreams. And hear how you can purposely pursue joy on the daily. So sit down, grab your favorite drink. And let’s have a girl chat. This is the living in sunshine podcast.

Maddy 0:40 All right. Good morning, everyone. And welcome back to the living in sunshine podcast. I am super excited today because we have a very special guest. We have Emily from at M underscore evolving. Did I get that right?

Emily 0:51 Yes. Perfect.

Maddy 0:53 I’m on the show today to chat with us about the very unique things that she’s doing in her own business, how she helps other business owners and other women thrive and live a joyful life. So welcome to the show. Emily, thanks for being here.

Emily 1:05 Thank you for having me. I’m so excited.

Maddy 1:09 I’m so glad when I reached out to you, I actually found you through Harley. Harley Jordan. I love her. She was on the show a couple of months ago. If you guys haven’t listened to her episode, go do so now she is all about rocking this implicit life and just breaking all the rules because they don’t exist in the first place. But I found her I found Emily through her. So Emily, can you please share what you do who you are and all of those things?

Emily 1:34 Absolutely. So I’m Emily, I am a mindset coach and business strategist. I love it. I am I love helping women come out of their darkness and find the light and find their purpose and not just find their purpose, but live so in alignment, that they are able to create a business and not just create a business, but create a six figure and beyond business. Yeah, that alignment. But I think you know, it all starts with the inside. It all starts with the inner work. It all starts with the mindset. And that’s what I’m really passionate about teaching people because I have a lot of business owners that come to me that are 123 years into their business and they’re like, I feel stuck like I’m making money but I’m I don’t feel aligned. I don’t feel happy. I don’t feel like living my purpose. And so it’s so much easier to work on yourself. Work on your mindset. Yeah. And number one first step to starting a business is knowing yourself. Yeah. And then everything flows so much easier. So I’m really passionate about that. Outside of that I love traveling. I used to live in Australia and I used to live in England. Yeah, Bali all of those were by accident. I I joke around and say that I’m the worst traveler ever because I go visit I end up living.

Maddy 3:14 So you traveled there you just never come home. Yeah. You’re a one way traveler, not the worst traveler. You’re just a one way traveler. let’s reframe that.

Emily 3:25 One way traveler that is absolutely right. Because I get to a place and i think i How can I possibly explore this whole place in a week or whatever you set out to do? Yeah, and and then I just ended up living there. So Australia, two years lived in New Zealand two years. And now I’m back in the States and kind of just figuring out where I’m going to be. So it’ll be interesting, because by the time this airs, yeah, I’ve chosen a spot. So it’ll be interesting to see that. Yeah,

Maddy 4:04 I love that. i There are some times where I put things intentionally in my podcast episodes, just because I record so early, where I’m like, I can’t wait to listen to this one. It’s live and be like, I remember that girl. She’s so cute. So funny. Okay, so you help women and business owners really route themselves in a mindset that allows them to kind of grow into their most authentic self. And you talked a lot about alignment. And knowing yourself enough so you can live in alignment. So can you share with us because I feel like that word alignment can can sometimes be a buzzword, especially online, and I’m calling myself out for using that word a lot too. I say that to you in my own space. Yeah. What does that word mean to you? And not only what does it mean to you, but how does it feel to you personally? How do you How does that feel to you to live in alignment? What does that mean? What does that look like? How does that feel?

Emily 4:59 Well, I think in order to live in alignment, you have to know yourself first. And I think it’s, I think it’s so funny when people that are feeling confused about making decisions, and they’re showing these symptoms, which, you know, look like, indecision, fatigue, you know, these kinds of even physical symptoms. Yeah, that thing out. They say, Oh, I know myself. And I’m like, huh, yeah. Here you go yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know your inner self is the question because you might know, there’s, we all have parts of ourselves, right? We have our inner selves, we have our ego. So you might know about yourself, but you might not know truly your heart yet. And so I think that that’s really the first step is knowing exactly who you are, and knowing what your values are. And then when you know your values, then you can very easily determine what is aligned for you and what is not because you’ve debated your intuition, you’ve activated your inner self. And you’ve said, this is a very clear, yes, or this is a very clear No, no. And anything that feels like it’s in alignment feels like love, it feels like positive, vibrational frequency, anything feels like scarcity, lack, fear, you know, automatically, that is your ego. So that’s the easiest way to really know initially, if you’re living in alignment is know yourself. And if it feels like love if it feels positive, and I use the word love, but to some people that might be peace, whatever you can, ultimate high vibrational frequency is Yeah, yeah. If it feels like that, you know that it’s your inner self. You know, it’s your intuition, you know that that is aligned, action and aligned decision in your life.

Maddy 7:03 Yeah. And so what happens, though, if you aren’t in alignment, when you are working with people one on one, whether it be in a business container, or in just a general life container, right, because you do this one on one coaching with people? What happens? Because I think if we talked about what happens when you are living or working or trying to scale a business, when you’re not in alignment, people listening can be like, Oh, that’s me. That’s what I’m doing right now. So what’s the normally see you mentioned symptoms? So maybe we can elaborate on that. But what happens to people when they aren’t living in alignment? And what are some common things that you see being a result of that lack of alignment in life or in business?

Emily 7:47 So I’ll preface this answer by saying that I spent the first eight to nine years of my career as a holistic health coach. Yeah. So everything that I was seeing was physical and mental symptomatic issues that were happening, right. Yeah. So so I’m looking at, you know, fatigue. Are you tired? Just all the time? Do you wake up tired? Do you wake up? overthinking? Like immediately, just full thoughts? Right, yeah. I think one of the biggest symptoms is indecision. Yeah, having trouble making the decision or feeling stuck, maybe you’ve not been able to make a decision for so long, that just frozen in you’re just don’t do anything for weeks, months, years, right? Yeah. So those are probably the biggest things that I see. And then also it comes down to, you can go all the way into you know, movement, either I’m seeing a lack of movement with people or they are forcing movement, like they’re doing, you know, six days a week of really high intensity movement, like CrossFit or yoga and the body is just you can’t have that many days in a row of that is Yeah, yeah. So there’s that imbalance and misalignment in movement with eating maybe their yo yo dieting a lot. Or, you know, not sure what to eat or when to eat, that’s, again, your intuition. When it’s activated, you kind of just, you know, when to eat, you shall have time schedule, like you should just be able to listen to your body when it’s hungry. So those are kind of the physical things and then mental like I said, you know, your brain is just going all over the place. Just in general negative thoughts where you are thinking out of scarcity or thinking out of fear or thinking out of lack Those are the biggest signs that your ego has really taken over. And yeah, I say ego I sometimes have to break it down for people because yeah, you’re the word ego. It sounds like Oh, pompous. Right? Yeah, that’s like I’m not egotistical. But we all have an ego. Yes. No one of us has this subconscious. Ego. Yep. That is. That is a part of us. It is part of our well being. Yeah, right there to technically keep us safe. Yes. Right. And we can go down a hole like, Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know, it, we can’t, if you feel like your mind is overrun by negative thinking or fearful thinking, then. Yeah, I think those are pretty strong signs that you’re not living in alignment. Yeah, yeah. And

Maddy 10:59 I, I like how you said that there’s both physical and mental aspects of this, because I think so often in I can really only speak for, you know, the US society and culture, it’s, it’s let’s try to pinpoint the external issue, to solve the ailment that we are dealing with, right? When in reality, so much of what we could fix or heal or grow from, is more internal than external, right. And so I just think it’s so crucial that we always keep that in mind, both aspects of what makes us us what makes us human. So I wonder then when you when you have someone who comes to you, who is not in alignment, and they say I’m always super fatigued, I have really bad brain fog. My my business feels like it stalled out did it? It it? Uh, what where do you tell them to start right? Do you have any sort of systems or processes or tips that you give to your clients to say like, we’re gonna start here? And then we’ll go along this path together? What What would you tell listeners to to do first? If they are like, this is me. They’re talking about me? Wow, SOS?

Emily 12:14 Yeah, so the first thing that I always have people do is identify what you love in your life. I always start with a win every single session for the past 10 years. We always start with a win. Yeah. Just want to bring our grievances and we always want to, we’re programmed to initially think Yeah, right. And so if we start with what do you love about your life? What? What are you grateful for? Yes, with that, and then everything else will feel like, Ooh, I identified what I loved. And everything else feels misaligned. And now I’m motivated to not feel that anymore. So always identify what do you love in your life? And then we can say, okay, take a look at your life, and what don’t you like? And looking at all categories of your life. So look at your physical and mental health, look at your business or your career. Look at your relationships, both family, friends, romantic partners, everybody in your life. Look at your money mindset. That’s a huge one. Yep. What don’t you like about your money mindset, right? What don’t you like about that part of your life. And also, spirituality is a huge one. In spirituality, I consider having belief in yourself and also belief in something greater than yourself, whatever you want to call that. I don’t care. But yes, you have to have that faith in something greater than you. And you also have to have that belief and faith in yourself. Yeah. So in looking at all of those areas of life, very quickly, people can identify Well, I don’t feel good when I have a conversation with this person. I feel I don’t feel good about this mindset with money. And I don’t fully believe in myself, and I’m kind of not sure about believing in something greater than me. Yeah. You know, I’ve been yo yo dieting, or I’ve been thinking about ozempic or, you know, I wake up and I grabbed my phone and I’m just dreading the day and I feel fatigue. So. So identify what those things are. Like, you have to know. Yeah, that’s self awareness. You have to be self aware. You have to know what’s actually going on. And that’s honestly that’s probably the biggest step because I think a lot of people are afraid to face their the truth. Yeah. And so that’s the biggest first step is face The truth be self. And the next step then is take responsibility. And I always say to people, it’s not your fault that you are this way. But it is your responsibility. It’s not your whole program this way. Because buzzword here generational trauma. Yep. Yep. But me that you think has all been passed down to you from generations, right? Yeah. So it’s not your fault. This is it’s been ingrained in you. But it is your responsibility to change. And I think that that’s a huge step as well, because we’re just in a society that doesn’t want to take responsibility. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone else’s or someone else’s fall. It’s, it’s, you know, my boss’s fault, or it’s,

Maddy 15:59 my kids were too loud. Or my husband didn’t do the dishes or the car broke down, or whatever. I say this all the time. You’ve got to take that finger that you’re pointing at other people, and you got to turn it right around and pointed at yourself. Yes.

Emily 16:09 Yeah. You got one finger pointed. There you go. Look where all the other shots.

Maddy 16:13 Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Literally. Yep.

Emily 16:18 Yeah, I think it’s taking that ownership and taking that responsibility that you are the creator of your reality. Yeah, I love that. And that’s very Islam long as you don’t get wrapped up in feeling down on yourself and feeling like a victim to your own creation. You can see that, wow. You can say, Oh, I created this. Or you can say, Wow, I can create anything. Yeah. I am the creator of my reality. I can create anything that I want in this life. Yeah. Right. Yeah, sir. Breaking down and saying, How am I creating this negative reality for myself? Or how am I enabling this reality for myself? And that can be either through, you know, self sabotage, or through boundary setting? Yeah. Looking at how are you contributing to this negative reality for yourself? Yeah.

Maddy 17:30 You are. Yeah, right. Yeah. Um,

Emily 17:33 and then, yeah, and then looking at what is the opposite? What an exercise a very simple exercise that I have a lot of people do is I say, Okay, well, what are your fears, and then draw a line down the page. And then on the other side of the page, write down the exact opposite of that fear? And then focus on that side of the page. So let’s say your fear is, I don’t have enough. Money. Yeah. You write down the exact opposite. I have more money than I could ever imagine. Yeah. News. To me. I have a button. Yeah. And then if you focus on that other side of the page that is rooted in positivity. Yeah. That is rooted in your inner self. And you know that that is aligned for you. Yeah. Yeah. Focus on that side of the page, believe that side of the page, and then that will become your reality.

Maddy 18:38 Yeah, yeah. I’m wondering if you have any, any tips or strategies because self belief and, and self assurance that you can believe those things or you can achieve those things can be a flash in the pan, right. On Friday, you could be ovulating, you could have the best night of sleep ever. You could have the best coffee ever. And you’re like I could do anything. Mount Kilimanjaro. Here I come. I’m coming to the top baby. And then by Monday, you’re like, I’m a slug. I’m a piece of trash. Put me out to pasture. I’m done. Right. So I’m wondering if you have any tips or suggestions for listeners to not only have self belief, but also work to like, make that something that isn’t so fleeting, because it’s easy for me to sit here and be like, I’m the baddest bitch in this whole place. I’m the best ever. I’m the coolest person I know did it. And like I believe that but I’ve also been practicing that for years and years and years. So I would love any tips for people who are just really, really ready to get started on this this work because this is unsexy work that we were talking about. This is the kind of work that isn’t always fun. That isn’t always easy, and that we are quick to be like, not today. Just not today. Right? I don’t want to I don’t want to be responsible. I don’t want to face my fears. I don’t want to do that. So what can we what would you recommend that people do to really start to not only believe in themselves more, but make that I believe consistent and quick to draw on when they need to.

Emily 20:06 So I will preface this by saying that my style of coaching is a very interesting blend of softness and holding space for people and also being pretty direct and brash. And like telling you just straight how it is

Maddy 20:23 welcome to The Club. We love tough love here, give it to us.

Emily 20:29 Here, great to the point here, you mentioned cycle. And number one thing if you’re on birth control, get off of birth control, and know how to track your cycle and know how to naturally plan and know your cycle. And then you know, your body. So you know, when you’re ovulating. You know, when you’re in follicular phase, you know, when you’re in luteal phase, and you know, when you’re going to have your period. That’s the first thing that I would recommend now, if that’s, if you’re gonna say, Okay, I’m, I’m not going to do that. Okay, well, you’ve got a little bit of a challenge in terms of you don’t know what day you’re gonna wake up and feel like shit. Yeah. Whereas at least it’s predictable when you know your cycle. Right? Yeah. So I wouldn’t say this is like the ultimate, you know, step by step. Yeah, our birth control, have someone help you with that process. Know your cycle, get your cycle really synched up. And then take care of your body. Take care of your mind, take care of your body, focus on nutrition, focus on movement, focused on taking at least 30 minutes of your time, every single day, especially to my moms out there. Yes, especially to my business owners, their minutes every single day, and I don’t care what you do, if you go sit in a corner and stare at the wall. Great. That can be journaling, meditating, going for a walk, just taking time for yourself and know that, you know, listening to music and having distracted mind doesn’t count. Breeding, for example, wouldn’t count because you’re not allowing your mind to rest, like have that plan time. To rest the mind, we want to bring the body back to a parasympathetic nervous state, which is calm, rest, digest, it’s allowing you to work in flow. Yeah. So taking care of your physical and mental is, number one, I do not move forward into planning, strategizing in people’s businesses until they have really come to a good routine. We establish a morning routine, we establish time that they’re taking for themselves throughout the day, and just getting really good habit. It’s like making sure you are taking care of yourself and prioritizing yourself. Number one, that’s, that’s the best thing that you can do for yourself. I cannot Yeah, say that enough.

Maddy 23:27 Yeah, I tell people all the time in my community on the podcast, my email, social media all the time. Please, dear Lord, beautiful, wonderful Angel, butterfly human, be selfish. Please be selfish, like, focus on yourself. Because we as women are taught all the time. Care for other people like we are birth and then are like told your caretaker, your job intrinsically as a woman is to care for other people. And we do that right? Whether we have kids or not, right, I am a child free by choice female in my late 20s. Married, I do not have kids do not plan on having kids. But even then, in what I do for work, I have stepped into a caretaker role as a coach, community leader, all those things. And so really, what women tend to do is they step into that caretaker role in whatever way that manifests for them. And then we forget ourselves, right? And we forget, oh, I need to be selfish. I need to have my 30 minutes to journal my 10 minutes to sit and just like, be present and all of the things that are happening. And I just I love that reminder so much and I love that other people say it too, because it’s one of those things where like, if you do have kids, you know how like you say something to a child. And they’re like, Okay, cool. Yeah, whatever. But like then their teacher says it or or the other parent in the situation says it they’re like, oh, yeah, okay, I hear you now right? It’s like you need to hear things from different voices to like actually really that it’s true. Same situation here people she’s telling you to be selfish. Okay, so if it if it doesn’t work to hear it from me, take it for have Emily like, please be selfish. It’s so good for you to be selfish in this way. I love this so much. So I’m wondering now, how can we or what are some, some easy ways that listeners can support themselves? You mentioned habit, you mentioned morning routines, what are some easy ways that listeners can support themselves? In starting this inner work or living in alignment or living a life that they love? What are some easy things that you would recommend to people who are like, I am so busy? I need some, I need some things that I can do now that I can implement right away. What would you tell people to do?

Emily 25:40 Take a deep breath. Yeah. I love that. You said, Well, you know, is like thinking of like, Wow,

Maddy 25:48 that’s pretty dang easy.

Emily 25:50 There’s a lot of layers that yeah, a lot of things that you can do in your life to, to improve it and to make habit changes, and some are easier than others. And I would say the absolute easiest is to stop and take 60 breaths, there’s a Japanese study that says it’s six, that’s the magic number. Take six deep breaths, inhale for five, exhale for five or however, whatever count you want, if you want, it doesn’t matter. Just take six deep breaths. And then you kind of say, okay, I can handle life a little bit better. Yeah. And then you can assess the next thing, and then you can tackle that next hardest step is like, Okay, well, what do I need to look at with my physical mental health? What do I, you know? Do I need to go to the grocery store? Do I need to food prep? Do I need to go for a walk? Do I need to? And then you start to feel a little better from that? Well, the next hardest thing where you can look at, okay, who’s in my life? If you are made up of the five people that you spend the most time with? Yep. Who’s in your life? And how are they impacting your life? Because you’re, yeah, so who’s gotta go? Right? How can we make space for the people that are aligned with who you want to be aligned with your highest? Right, so? So those are a couple of steps. But I would start with taking some deep breaths, I would start with morning pages. That is one of my favorite ways to those free therapy people that is,

Maddy 27:36 yeah. Can you explain what you mean by morning pages? Yes.

Emily 27:40 So morning pages, is when you wake up, you grab your pen and your journal, and you just start brain dumping? And you want to write three pages? Oh, you just wake up. And that’s the first thing you do. You don’t like go to the bathroom if you need to. But yeah, you do not grab your phone, you do not Wow, read or stretch or go make coffee. No, you wake up, the very first thing you do is start brain dumping. And let’s say you wake up and you can’t think of there’s nothing on your mind, then literally write. I don’t know what to write today. And you need to write, I don’t know what to write today. For three pages. That’s what you’re doing. You’re just brain dumping anything that comes to mind. So for example, this morning, I woke up, and I brain dumped and recalled a dream that I had. And then I looked outside and it was raining. And I wrote about that. And then I wrote about being excited for the podcast. And then just whatever came to my mind, I just took from my brain and put it onto paper. Yeah. And it will change your day. drastically. Yeah, I don’t I can’t tell you the science behind that. Is it just a way to like get all the clutter out of your brain? And just clear your brain for the day? Yes, it’s trusted, allowing you to clear your brain for the day. But it is also I think, because writing is a form of creativity. Yeah. It’s also sparking this level of creativity in your mind, where I see a difference. So I’m actually I love science and I love data. And yeah, I love using myself as a guinea pig. Yes, I’ve noticed that. When I do morning pages. I am way more creative in my business. I’m way more able to talk in flow move in flow as I’m troubleshooting easier things just calm. The day just seems a lot more effortless. Yeah. And If I don’t do morning pages, I can just tell ya funny.

Maddy 30:06 I it’s one of those things like, I think I’ve heard about this before, but I haven’t actually practice it. To me it sounds like in my life, my morning workout, if I get my butt up, and I go to the gym at six in the morning, even though people think that’s crazy, because I, my husband and I both work from home, we set our own schedules. Everyone’s like, why are you at the gym at 6am? Why do you have an alarm for 515 in the morning, and I’m like, because I just operate better when I go in the morning when it’s done. Like everything flows. That is so fascinating. Three, three pages feels like a lot. It doesn’t have to be three pages.

Emily 30:40 I would encourage people to start with one page. Yeah, row to three pages, but try to make three pages. So I love safe goals and stretch goals. Yes. Yeah. So I say let’s make one page of a safe goal and three pages a stretch goal. But I really try to get three pages in. Because I am just dumping everything out is and even if there’s space where I’m like, oh, you know, I just I don’t know what else to write. I don’t know what else. Yeah, oftentimes I get to about a page, a page and a half. And I’m like, Oh, I’m filled with three pages today. Yeah. Fascinating. I love that. It’s like stream of thought that is just putting it somewhere. And it’s it’s saying? Yeah, it’s just putting it somewhere and you’re not carrying it with you. Through your day. Yeah, I would definitely encourage you to try it. Do a little trial run. Yeah. Yeah.

Maddy 31:48 I love that. Oh, my gosh, Emily, this has been so good. There’s so many things in this episode that I think are really going to help people. I have one more question for you. And I asked all of my guests this question. And sometimes people have to like take a beat to think about it. So if you have to take a beat, no stress, no worries. If there is someone listening to our episode right now, and they’re like, I love this girl. I want to be just like her. She’s living in alignment. She’s doing the things that bring her joy. She she’s doing the things I want to be just like her. What would you tell them to do?

Emily 32:19 I would tell them to take big, scary risks in your life.

Maddy 32:26 Interesting. Tell us more.

Emily 32:28 You have one life? Yeah. Why? Why not take the risk? Yeah. And I’ll tell you that when you take the risk. You your body perceives this fear that you’re going to? Because it’s trying to protect you? Yeah. Essentially dying, right? Yeah. But your body perceives this level of fear that when you actually come to moving through the action of doing the thing that scares you? Yeah. It’s not nearly as bad as you thought it was going to be. Yeah. And you get on the other side of that risk. Exponential reward. Yeah. Yeah. So do the scary thing. Get yourself comfortable with being uncomfortable? Yeah. Huge. And don’t be afraid. Yeah. I love that. Oh,

Maddy 33:38 I love it so much, Emily. Thank you so so much for being on the show with us Can you please plug yourself where people can find you where they can hang out with you more all the things now is your time to shine? Absolutely.

Emily 33:48 So I’m M underscore evolving on Instagram and find me there join our community we I love just messaging with people and interacting with them and learning about them and and so come to this beautiful positive space. It’s Yes, very inspiring. And, and yeah, I love to see you guys there.

Maddy 34:17 I love it so much, Emily, thank you so much for joining us today. I hope you guys listening loved it. If you did share your biggest takeaways take a screenshot of our show tag Emily and I both on Instagram so we can see what you’re walking away with. And Emily, thank you for being on the show. I really appreciate it.

Emily 34:31 Thank you so much for having me

Maddy 34:34 Thank you so much for listening to today’s new episode. If you loved it, please send it to a friend share it on Instagram and tag me so I can see and consider leaving the show a rating or a review. Ratings and reviews are kind of like sharing or liking a post on Instagram and they really help the show grow and reach new women just like you. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a new episode. And until next week, I am sending you all Other sunshine good vibes and I hope you make it a great day