Our sleep routines and habits are SO important for our overall health and wellbeing yet so many of us struggle with it. As someone who used to deal with nightmares, waking up in the middle of the night, and not getting enough sleep, I know what that is like. In today’s new episode, I share with you three things I did to get better sleep and share why focusing on this part of your life is so, so important!
Please note – I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice. These are easy things I did that I think helped me that I am sharing personal experience on. If you feel as if you are struggling on a medical level with your sleep, please consult a professional.
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:
Maddy:
Hey bestie, and welcome to the living in sunshine podcast. I’m your host, Maddy fry. And around here we are all about encouraging, inspiring, and giving you the tough love that you need to hear to get out there and live as your best self. Each and every Wednesday, you can expect to learn tangible tips to help you find your bigger purpose. be given simple action steps that you can take in order to make progress toward your biggest dreams. And hear how you can purposely pursue joy on the daily. So sit down, grab your favorite drink, and let’s have a girl chat. This is the living in sunshine podcast. Good morning. Good morning, my friends and welcome back to the living in sunshine podcast. I am so happy that you’re here tuning in for another brand new episode. My name is Maddy Frey. And I love coming onto the show every other week, and getting to talk to you about what I do and what you can do to live an intentionally joyful life. I think that there is so much going on in the world right now. And there’s always so much going on in the world that it can sometimes be hard to feel like a joyful life is possible. And we are all dealing with our own dealings. And that is what this space is for. That is what this podcast is for to give you intentional things and habits and routines and changes that you can make in your own life to live as joyfully as you can, and to intentionally work towards a joyful life every single day. So if you are new here, be sure to subscribe to the show. If you are a returning follower. Don’t forget to take a screenshot, share the show to your Instagram stories and tag me so I can see. And let me know if you love today’s episode or any of the episodes that you listen to. I love hearing your guys’s feedback on the episodes. And on the podcast specifically, we have new episodes coming out every other Wednesday, we’ve recently changed to bi weekly podcast episodes. And that is an intentional, joyful living shift that I made for myself because I was feeling super, super burnt out just across the board with everything. And I needed to scale back in some spaces, and the podcast was one of those spaces that still felt really supportive and intentional to do bi weekly instead of weekly. So you can expect a new episode every other Wednesday. So for the month of August, you will get two episodes this month, the month of July, we had three episodes. So definitely be sure to come back and listen next week with a brand new episode when it comes out on Wednesday. So for today’s new episode, we’re actually talking about something that I don’t think I’ve ever talked about on the show before. But it’s something I have talked about on my Instagram Stories, which if you don’t follow me over on Instagram, my handle is at living the letter N sunshine. So living in sunshine, and that is the topic of sleep. And in today’s episodes, I’m giving you three things that I personally do to get better sleep and why your sleeping habits and routines and your overall sleep health are really really important, just as a general human, but also specifically as women. Because we are impacted. You know, unsurprisingly to me at least we are impacted by sleep and more specifically a lack of sleep more than men are. So I did a little bit of research for today’s episode. Just as like a caveat. I am not a doctor, I’m not a medical professional. The things that I share in today’s episode are things that work for me, because sleep is something that I didn’t always thrive. And another that feels really funny to say like thriving at sleeping. But there are people out there who I know friends, people online that I know who really struggle with sleep and sleep is a big thing that a lot of people deal with and struggle with. So if you are one of those people, I hope that by sharing what I did to better my overall sleeping health helps you as well. But just know that again, I am not a medical professional. This is not medical advice. If you are suffering from sleep in a medical way, I encourage you to see a doctor and talk to your professional about that. So that way you can get better and sleep better and live better. So for some context, in today’s day and age, I’m 29 for just really solid context. And nowadays, literally I’m not making it up when I say this, I sleep like an actual infant like I my head hits the pillow and I am lights out for a solid six to eight hours every single day. And this isn’t how it always used to be. I actually used to really struggle with falling asleep and sleeping in spaces other than my own bed like if I was traveling or I was you know, I grew up in a divorced household. So like if I was at, you know, my dad’s house or wherever. I struggled a lot with sleep. And more specifically, the things that were impacting my sleep were things like, you know, having really bad anxiety inducing nightmares and not being able to fall back asleep when I woke up because of my nightmares. Waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. That’s a very common thing that a lot of people do with sleeping really, really hot and if you’ve ever heard the term sweat the bed, literally that was me. And sleep was one of those things that I specifically do I really depend on and so when my sleep was unwell, I was unwell. And there was a period of time where, due to stress and anxiety and being over capacity overwhelmed, my sleep was really impacted. And it was it was really detrimental to my overall mental health. And that’s part of the reason why I started therapy back in 2021, because I realized that my mental health of being really over anxious and stressed and overwhelmed to all these things was impacting my sleep health, which was then impacting my overall health because we are a fully connected system, our bodies are a fully connected system and machine if you would, and when one thing is off, everything else is slightly off kilter even just a little bit, even if you don’t notice it right away. But eventually the wear and tear of being off balance or not being, you know, completely in sync really starts to shed its light, right. And that was what was happening with me. So that is part of why I wanted to share what I’ve done to help myself to get better sleep. But there are a few other caveats that I think are really, really critical that you the listener know, because they do change the way you sleep, and they impact your sleep. And these are things about me that I think benefit my sleep health, that you might have a different current season or a different current living arrangement, or lifestyle that you know these things impact your sleep, whether you want them to or not right. So some things about me that I think you need to know before I dive into like what helped and what helped me to have a better sleeping health is that I do not drink. I am sober. I do not smoke. I do not do any kind of drugs, recreational or not.
I am I’m a clean being I don’t do anything. I don’t do anything. I do no alcohol, no drugs, no nothing like that. legal or not legal, doesn’t matter. I don’t do any of those. And these impacts your sleep immensely. Any kind of research any kind of doctor you talk to you like those are the questions that you they asked me Do you drink alcohol, do you do drugs, because those things do impact your sleep. Other things to keep in mind is that I also do not have kids, kids change your whole life, I understand that I recognize that. If you have little kids, they will wake you up at four in the morning and like be ready to go. I know that because I used to be a live in nanny. And that was always a thing. And so they changed things, I do not have those. And then the other thing that I just want to say is that getting to where I am now in my sleep health is has been a journey, right? It hasn’t been linear. And it has taken me years and years and years to get here. Ever since I was probably like an adolescent like 1011 12. It got really, really bad in my early to mid 20s. And that’s when I started to make intentional changes that I’m going to share with you today. And really work to improve my overall sleep health because I noticed that it was impacting my overall health, mental, physical, spiritual, all those things. And I didn’t want to continue to live like that. So what did I do to improve my sleep health? Well, the first thing that I did is not anything new. If you have listened to any past episodes from me before, this is going to be another one where you’re like, Oh, here she goes again, getting on our soapbox, the first thing that I need you to consider doing. And I understand that people have reservations about that, and I respect those reservations. But it’s to get your phone, out of your bed, and even better out of your bedroom. Okay, and I know I talked about this all the time, but it is so so crucial and has truly changed the way that I sleep. I actually got this idea from Jay Shetty and a really old podcast that he did. And his podcast was talking more so about living anxiously and what like small things that are impacting your anxiety. And for me at the time, I knew that I was really struggling with my anxiety. And he said when you have your phone in your bedroom, and it is the first thing that you reach for in the morning, you welcome in the speed and the hurry and the I’m behind feelings immediately the first thing that you do when you wake up, and that really messes with your your brain chemistry that really messes with the way that you’re starting your day, the energy that you’re welcoming into your day. And he’s like, the easy solution to this is by removing the temptation of grabbing your phone first thing in the morning, and for several years, what I did was I literally removed my phone from my bedroom. I would charge my phone in my office down the hallway. And I have an old school alarm clock that I still use today. And I keep my phone in a different room down the hallway. Nowadays in full transparency, my phone is in my room, but I plug it in, in our bathroom, on the counter away from my bed. So it’s not the first thing I reach for I actually have to physically get up and Then go and get it before I can just grab it off of my bedside table and like stare at it in the middle of the night if I wake up at two in the morning, right. So that’s the first thing that I did to really work on regaining and Reclaiming my sleep. Because I was one of those people who would wake up in the middle of the night and grab my phone. And like, suddenly, I was on Instagram. And I’m like, How did I get here? Like, what in the world happened? Why am I on Instagram at two in the morning. And it was because my phone was just right there, it was easily accessible entertainment for me to ignore the dream I had had or the anxious feelings I was experiencing, or whatever it might be running around in my head, like a little frantic squirrel, which happens a lot with me, right? So get your phone out of your bed, at least if you sleep with your phone, like under your pillow. Please, please, please, for the love of all good things that are you don’t do that anymore. I don’t I mean, I’m not like anyone who’s like the aliens are coming for us. But like, there has to be some correlation with the technology of our phones being that close to our brains all the time, because we all always have our phones with us all the time. And I just, I’m sure there are sites out there that says having your phone that close to your head all the time is not a good thing, especially when you’re sleeping. So the biggest tip I can give you is to just remove your phone from your bed, move it to the opposite side of your bedroom. You can use it as an alarm if you want to. But bonus points if you literally put it in a different room as you sleep to charge so it’s not a temptation. Okay, the next thing is a recent upgrade in my sleep routine. And that is actually upgrading your mattress and your sheets, when and if you can now a caveat. I’ve lots of them this episode, I understand that a nice bed, a nice mattress and like nice sheets is a massive privilege that is not lost on me. You are talking to a girl who slept on a twin size mattress from Menards. That was $200 from like the from like grade nine all the way through when I graduated from college, okay, like I did not have a nice mattress until a year ago. And when I say nice mattress, I mean my husband and I when we moved into our current home when we knew we were not going to be relocating. And another two years because that was kind of our pattern for a while we bought a native I believe is the brand. A native mattress, it’s very similar to like a Purple Mattress or a certain mattress right like super nice, kind of up there in price. We got a king size, our California came because of all of our dogs. But we upgraded our mattress. And prior to this mattress, you guys, we were sleeping on like a $250 king sized mattress from Amazon, okay. And when I tell you, the mattresses at Walmart were better than a mattress from Amazon that we slept on for like three or four years. That’s how bad it was okay. And it’s one of those things that like you don’t know, until you know, and then when you know, you can never go back, right. So we upgraded our mattress when we moved into this house. And we made that investment and we’re very happy with that investment. And then for Christmas last year, we asked for Boleyn branch sheets, again, very high end very nice, very pricey, a very big privilege to be able to have been, you know, given them as a gift for Christmas. But they again up leveled our sleep experience. So so so much I, you know, contribute the fact that I’m not sweating my butt off in the middle of the night to both our mattress, but also our sheets. And that has really helped me to sleep through the night and not get so hot and so uncomfortable every night like I was. And so if you are someone who needs someone to just say go upgrade your bedding, and like go upgrade your mattress, please go upgrade your bed and go update your mattress like we are grownups. It is time to get rid of the mattress that you’ve been sleeping on since you were a freshman in college. Right. And again, privilege, that is a big investment. But to me, our sleep impacts everything else that we do. And that to me is a worthwhile investment when you can do that. Okay, the third thing that I want to share with you today that has really helped to improve my overall sleep health is and my mother likes to give me a hard time about this, but it works. And I have no shame. And this is actually something I’ve done for a very, very long time. But that is to get into bed, like physically into your bed onto under your covers, like a little cute, you know, cocoon 30 minutes before you want to fall asleep. Okay? And the reason you should do this and the reason this helps, is it because it trains your brain to know that you are winding down and you’re getting ready to sleep this this plays along to your circadian rhythm. I’m not going to get into that if you want to Google what that is. Go do that now. But it is the cycle of being awake and being asleep and when you physically put yourself into bed, you trigger that response in your brain to say, oh, it’s it’s time to go to sleep. We are in bed. We are physically in the space where we sleep. And so when you get into bed half an hour before you want to be asleep, you trigger that, that response in your brain, right? And my mom likes to give me a hard time about this. She’s like, Oh, so you’re getting into bed to think about going to sleep. And I’m like, literally, yes, I’m getting into bed thinking about going to sleep. And it helps me to I have found get deeper sleep. And longer sleep than versus when like, I used to work in retail. And when I would close up the store, I would get home around 930 or 10. And I would jump right into bed. And I would be wired because I wanted to fall asleep right away. But I had literally just, you know, changed out of my work clothes and like, put on my pajamas and God right back into bed. And I was like, Okay, I’m gonna go to sleep right now, like my brain needed that wine downtime to be able to get good sleep. And so if you are someone who struggles with good sleep, good, healthy, deep sleep, where you fall into your REM cycles, right? Maybe try going and getting into your bed half an hour earlier, instead of say, sitting at your gaming computer or falling asleep on the couch, and then moving to your bed, right? Like if you know you want to be asleep by 10 Getting get into bed at 930. Like there’s nothing wrong with that allow your brain that time to wind down and start to relax to get into that habit of okay, I’m in bed, it’s time to go to sleep. Okay, and the fourth thing is a bonus tip, a bonus idea for you. And we’re going to talk about this as mature adults. Okay. And by mature adults, I mean, I will laugh because this is funny that I’m talking about.
But the last final tip for you, if you want to get better sleep is that your bed should not be used for anything other than sleeping, or intimacy. Okay, you should not be working in your bed, you should not be like hanging out on your bed, you should not be like sitting in your bed like doing a craft. Because again, it’s that mind to body connection, where your brain will not associate your bed with sleep. If you work from that. And again, this is going to be very polarizing, I understand that some people are not going to agree with me, that’s okay we do not need to agree on everything to be civil and kind to one another. But when you say work in your bed, you are training your brain to say when I am in this physical space, I am meant to be alert and productive and aware and awake and focused, right? Instead of when I am in this this environment, my bed. I am meant to be relaxed. I am meant to be asleep. I am meant to be resting right. And I looked this up because I was like am I making this up? And there are people there are studies that show and backup this claim that Your bed should only be used for sleeping or the occasional Hanky Panky, right. You know what I mean? Like, we don’t need to be working from bed. We don’t need to be like lounging in bed. If you want to take a nap on your bed, that’s fine. But you have to start to train if you want better sleep, you have to start associating your bed with sleep and sleep alone. And I feel like during the pandemic, a lot of people were working from bed. And were a certain like doing all of these other things from bed because we were all home, right? We were all casually at home. But it’s time to now reclaim our beds for sleep or for intimacy alone. Okay, I promise you I know it sounds crazy. I know it sounds like this girl’s making this up. I promise you it does make an impact and it does make a difference. And then just quickly I wanted to share with you why good sleep matters, right? Why am I bringing this to the podcast? Why am I talking about this on a podcast where I you know, I talked about things like joyful living and productivity all these things, right? Why does good sleep matter? Okay, and this is where my research came in. I did a little Googling and searching and read a whole bunch of like really interesting articles about sleep health, which was super fun. So some of the biggest reasons why we need to be getting better sleep and focusing on our sleep is because good sleep and you know six to eight hours of reoccurring sleep daily does things for our overall health such as decreases blood pressure, increases your daily alertness and productivity. So for all of you happy hustlers out there who are falling asleep at your desk, good sleep is going to benefit this right make that better. It lowers your risk of cardiovascular issues such as heart disease, and for women proper sleep also lowers your risk of diabetes and depression, right? It’s all a cycle, everything is connected, right. And again, for women specifically, sleep helps us to regulate our hormone levels, which play a hugely critical role in our overall health and well being mental, physical, spiritual, all of it. And it helps to rejuvenate our energy levels during the different stages of our cycle. And if you listen to my last episode, or one of my episodes in July, I don’t remember what order it’s coming out. But I talked about how Hormonal Health and balancing my hormones is something that I’m really trying to learn more about as like Get closer to 30. And I thought that this was just such a fascinating fact that I’m not surprised. But it’s something that it’s worth mentioning. Good sleep helps our Hormonal Health, which impacts literally everything that we are as female. If you are someone who identifies as a female, right, your female reproductive organs, all of those things, all of that matters for you. And so I just thought that that was too interesting to not share. So those are the things that I do to better my overall sleep health and to get better sleep. And to just really do what I can to live a life that I love during the daytime because of I am tired and grouchy and low energy, nothing gets done, you can ask my husband that nothing gets done I’m so tired, I’m so worn out. And it’s just tough to to live my life to the fullest when my energy levels are low, because I’m not getting good sleep. So I hope that this episode was helpful. If you try out any of these things, feel free to let me know how they go. If you are curious about sleep health, I encourage you there’s tons of research out there on overall sleep health and how you can improve your sleep health. But this is definitely a everyone is going to have their own experience kind of thing. So I wanted to share mine. If you have any questions on what I did it, feel free to send me a message over on Instagram. I would love to chat with you more. And until two weeks from now, not next week. I am sending you all the sunshine, good vibes. And I hope you make it a great day, girlfriend. Thank you so much for listening to today’s new episode. If you loved it, please send it to a friend share it on Instagram and tag me so I can see and consider leaving the show a rating or a review. Ratings and reviews are kind of like sharing or liking a post on Instagram and they really help the show grow and reach new women just like you. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a new episode. And until next week, I am sending you all the sunshine, good vibes and I hope you make it a great day.