Episode 45: [EDUCATION] How to Master Your Inner-Critic!

Hey hey bestie girl and welcome back to the podcast! This month in February we are tackling the theme of MINDSET which I think is a great follow up to our talk about GOALS in January. This topic of mindset is something I talk alot about over on Instagram (be sure to follow me @livingnsunshine) and something I am so pumped to talk about on the podcast this month!

In today’s episode, I am sharing with you a super simple strategy that I use often that can help YOU master your inner-critic. This simple, 3-step strategy is not only going to help you master your inner-critic, but it’s also going to help you welcome more positivity into your mind every single day. If you decide to try this out, let me know how it goes! I would love to hear how it serves you! 

 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW:

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https://view.flodesk.com/pages/60f3582949d9247e7d16891e 

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https://www.facebook.com/livingnsunshine 

 


EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

 

Maddy 0:08 Welcome to the living in sunshine podcast if you don’t know who I am, my name is Maddy. And I am so excited to have you tuning in to our weekly podcast episodes, where we chat all the things from tips and tricks to funny stories from my life that have helped me to truly live in the sunshine. In this space, we are all about encouraging, inspiring and giving you the tough love that you need to hear sometimes to realize that you are totally made for more than what you currently have in life, and that you hold the power to make the changes that you need to level up and live your best self. So buckle up, grab some water and let’s get into it. Good morning sunshine squad. And welcome back to the podcast. I am so thankful for you tuning in to yet another episode of The Living in sunshine podcast. And I hope this one Serves you right where you need it to. If you are new to the show, you probably don’t know this, but we have monthly themes here on the podcast. And for February we are tackling the theme of mindset. Now fixing your mindset is something that I talk about a lot over on Instagram, which if you don’t follow me on Instagram, you totally should my handle is at living the letter N sunshine. And it is something that I am super pumped to talk to you about today and all month long. Because life is all about your mindset. If you have a bad mindset, you’re going to easily think and believe that you have a bad life. If you have a more positive mindset on the other hand, you are more likely to live life fully in the sunshine. Before we get into today’s episode though I have two reminders for you. The first one being to check out the buy me a coffee Support link and to become a sunshine sister. So my sunshine sisters are my financial donors and financial supporters of the living in sunshine podcast. And those ladies who sign up for the buy me a coffee, Sunshine sister membership get access to our hype girl chat. Now this level of support allows me to continue to produce the podcast in a way that serves you in a way that is weekly and at the highest quality that I can and as thanks, I am giving you access to our totally awesome weekly hype girl text thread. This height girl text thread is a way for you to chat directly with me and for me to send you weekly hype sometimes more straight to your phone when you need it. So again, to sign up to become a sunshine sister. All you have to do is check out the buy me a coffee Support link in the show notes and you can check that out and if you have any questions feel free to shoot me a DM over on Instagram. This second reminder is to make sure that you put yourself on our monthly sunshine newsletter list. This newsletter is our monthly email newsletter that is completely free and open to anyone. This monthly sunshine newsletter is a way for you to get a full scope view of all things living in sunshine, and to help you stay up to date on all things coming to this community and 2022 in this monthly newsletter, you get hype, encouragement, a little bit of background of my life and what’s going on with me and a monthly freebie every single month that you guys vote for over on Instagram. So to sign up for the monthly sunshine newsletter, you can do that via the show notes link below this podcast episode. Now that my announcements are out of the way. Let’s go ahead and jump in to today’s episode. So in today’s episode, I am going to teach you a really simple strategy to use if you battle consistently and constantly with your own inner critic, and listen to me on this, okay, we all have an inner critic, I do not care how much you love yourself how much you believe in yourself how much you have faith in yourself, you still probably deal with an inner critic, right? Inner Critic Inner Mean Girl inner voices, whatever you want to call them. I am almost certain that on some level, we all have one, right? It’s that inner critic who can sometimes constantly tear us down tell us that we’re not going to do it make us doubt ourselves create worry or anxiety in our minds and in our hearts. And today I’m going to give you a strategy to help you quiet this voice gain control over again and to not let it hold you back from finally making the moves in your life that you either no you need to or that you really want to be making. And this strategy you guys is something that I do personally, every single time my inner critic pops up throughout my day. And it instantly helps me to refocus on my own worth, purpose and direction. My dudes, I want you to know that I would never ever have you do something or say something or try something that I haven’t done myself. So any strategies, tips, tricks, anything that you hear on this podcast has been tried and trusted by me and something that genuinely does help me so after you hear this strategy, if you feel like this is something you need, definitely go give it a try tweak it and make it your own. And if it doesn’t work after a few times, that’s okay. This is me sharing something that that works for me with you in the hopes that it does serve you well. Another thing to know about this strategy though, you guys is that I need you to know that this strategy takes practice. It’s not a one and done deal, okay, you need to remember it, maybe write it down if you need to, and practice it as often as needed. This strategy is similar to praying or meditation, or I don’t know working out or going for a run, right? Everything takes practice and the more practice that you do, and the more times that you practice this strategy, specifically, the more benefits you’re going to get from it. So don’t try it once and then feel like it didn’t work. And then come hit me up in my DMs and be like, that is trash. It doesn’t work. Because I’m going to ask you, how many times did you practice it, and if you told me one, I’m going to send you back to redo your homework. Okay, that’s the teacher side of me coming out. So we’re going to call this strategy, the spot, stop and refocus method, because you do all three of these things every single time you use it. So again, our method is called spot, stop and refocus. And spot means that you spot the inner critic speaking to you, or the critical thoughts creeping into your head, right? Stop means that you literally stop those thoughts in their tracks, and you stop thinking about them when you spot them, right. And you’re probably thinking, this is going to take practice, I gotta learn how to do these things. We’re going to talk about that. The third step in this strategy is to refocus. And this means that you then refocus your mind on a positive thought or idea. After stopping the critical one, though, when I put it like that spot, stop and refocus. It sounds quite simple, honestly, because it is simple. What’s hard, though, is rewiring your mind and your brain and your mindset to believe that the inner critic that you’re having, or the critical thoughts that you are going through, are untrue, especially if you are someone who has been dealing with self critical thoughts for a while now, this will be the hardest part for you. Because after a significant amount of time, maybe your whole life, maybe a couple of years, maybe if you’ve been in a toxic relationship, and someone’s feeding you these ideas. After some time, your brain will train itself to believe that every single thought that you think of is true, when in reality it’s not. So the simple part is the strategy. The hard part is rewiring your brain that this strategy is going to trigger. Okay, the other tricky thing with this method is being able to spot your inner critic when it comes out to play. To do this, you’re going to have to train your brain to be self aware of the thoughts that you’re having. Because so often we’re mindlessly letting these thoughts come in and out of our minds. That’s a very normal thing. We have 1000s, hundreds of 1000s. I don’t know the exact number, I’m sure you can probably Google it of thoughts every single day, some of them we dedicate more time to than others. And if you’re anything like me, because this is something I struggle with, still today, you guys, if you’re anything like me, we tend to dwell on the negative thoughts over the positive thoughts, right? We tend to give more attention and more time, to the thoughts that make us worried, doubt ourselves question what we’re doing, or make us believe that we are not going to be successful. So when we have these thoughts, the tricky part of this method is going to be to spot those ideas and spot those thoughts and say, Wait a second, this isn’t right. This isn’t real. This is a this is a critical thought. This is my inner critic coming out to make me start to doubt and second guess myself. And that’s not true. To help build your awareness, you guys, you are going to have to be really present in the thoughts that you have, and in the emotions that those thoughts provoke. If they provoke negative emotions, such as worry or anxiety, or stress or sadness, reflect on why that is. So if you’re having a thought and you’re feeling those negative emotions, right, I know I get this sometimes sometimes I have a an inner thought pop up and suddenly my stomach starts to hurt, or I start to feel like a pain in my chest. You need to be aware of when those emotions start to happen and what your body is telling you to do. And when you sense these negative emotions, and you take time to reflect on why you’re having those negative emotions, you will be able to find and spot those self critical thoughts and stop them then refocus them, like our method lays out for you. And here’s the amazing thing with our brains and our thoughts. We have way more control over them than we think we do. Just by simply recognizing the self critical thoughts just by tuning into our own emotions as we have them, you are then able to spot them more frequently. And then tell yourself I’m not thinking about that right now. And when you tell yourself I’m not thinking about this right now, your brain will start to retrain itself on its own to not have to have you do so much spotting. And you will find that when you tell your mind either verbally right like physically out loud saying I’m not thinking about this right now. Or just mentally we’re not thinking about this right now. Your brain will listen. This is the beauty of the stop part of the spot stop and refocus method. You are literally We’re going to interrupt that thought when you notice it when you spot it by telling yourself that you aren’t thinking about it and releasing it from your mind. And this is again, going to take practice. What this does when you tell yourself when you interrupt that thought and say stop, we’re not thinking about this, what this does, it makes space in your mind and in your brain to do the next step in our method, which is to refocus in your mind. Now the refocus step in this strategy is the best part because this is where you are retraining your brain. And where that retraining of your brain really starts to happen. When you refocus, you are going to refocus your mind onto a positive thought, positive emotion or even like something positive that happened that day, about yourself, your work or what you are doing. And when I say what you are doing, I mean, like anything, it could be work related physically, anything right? What you’re doing, when you refocus your brain on something positive, your brain is then training itself to welcome in more positive thoughts in the future, instead of more negative ones. Every single time you refocus your mind on something positive, you’re telling your brain, I am only going to think positively about myself, and I am only welcoming in those types of thoughts. Now, do not hear this and think Maddie wants us to practice toxic positivity. That’s not what I’m saying. What I am saying is I want you to welcome in more positivity, not saying to ignore the negative things that are going on in your life. I’m not telling you to ignore the hard things that are happening in your life. But what I want you to do with this refocus step is learn how to train your brain to be more welcoming and more open to positive ideas and thoughts about yourself. Especially if you’re someone who suffers from controlling your entire life, my friends, by practicing the spot, stop and refocus method, often, you will start to find your inner critic getting quieter and quieter. Remember though, this method takes practice and consistency for you to start seeing the difference in your mindset. So just quickly, I want to go over this strategy one more time with you. Again, write it down, pop it into your phone, hopefully it gets into your mind. And when you hear that inner critic, you hear my voice coming in saying wait a second, hold up. Remember our strategy. So our strategy to quiet our inner critic is to spot aka spot the inner critical thought that you’re having. Stop, aka stop that thought in its tracks, interrupt it by saying we’re not thinking about this and refocus which means that you are going to refocus your mind on a positive thought or idea about yourself, after you have interrupted and stopped that inner critical thought. Okay, spot, stop and refocus. That is my strategy that I use consistently. Guys, like weekly, I have to practice this strategy to quiet my inner critic because everyone has one right? At some variation to some degree. Everyone has an inner critic who’s feeding us lies about what we are doing in our life, what we look like the relationships we’re in what we’re capable of all of those things. But this strategy is a simple way a simple thing that you can do in the moment, all on your own without even having to tell anyone else about it to help your brain welcome in more positive thoughts about yourself. So if you try out this strategy, the spot stop and refocus strategy, shoot me a DM on Instagram and let me know how it goes. I hope that this strategy helps you as much as it helps me to thrive in your day to day life. And not only that, I hope it helps you to retrain your brain and retrain your mindset to be more positive and rooted in joy every single day. And that is everything I have for you today, my friends, and I hope you loved today’s episode. If you did, be sure to take a screenshot of today’s episode posted to your Instagram stories and tag me so I can share it with my people as well. I literally love seeing your guys’s Instagram snapshots and your takeaways of the episodes they bring me so much joy. And don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast as well so you get notified every single time a new episode goes up every single Wednesday. Until next time I dudes I am sending you all the sunshine good vibes and I hope you make it a great day. That is all I have for you today my dudes and I hope you love today’s episode. If you did, I would seriously appreciate it if you went and left the show a review and rating on whatever platform you’re currently listening on. For every review and rating that you leave it truly helps the show grow and reach more women just like yourself. If you had any major takeaways or aha moments, be sure to take a screenshot of this episode. post it to your social media stories with your biggest takeaways and tag me at living in sunshine so I can share it with my people as well. Again, thank you so much for hanging out with me this week. And until next time, I am sending you all the sunshine good vibes and I hope you make it a great day.