EPISODE 54: [STORYTIME] 7 Lessons in 27 Years | Happy Birthday to Me!

Happy birthday to me!! I am so thankful and grateful for yet another year on this earth and to be sharing it with you today!! In today’s episode I am sharing with you my top 7 lessons I have learned in my 27 years of life! This is something I did last year and so many of you loved it so I wanted to be sure to do it again this year. 

My friend, life is all about learning lessons and figuring things out. I know that I am still young and have a lot to learn, but I hope that these lessons help you to grow and learn in your own life! 

 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW:

ENROLL IN THE OWN YOUR VISION COURSE

https://maddy-fry.teachable.com/p/own-your-vision-course 

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https://view.flodesk.com/pages/60f3582949d9247e7d16891e 

FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM:

https://www.instagram.com/livingnsunshine/ 

FIND ME ON FACEBOOK:

https://www.facebook.com/livingnsunshine 

 


EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

 

Maddy 0:08 Welcome to the living in sunshine podcast if you don’t know who I am, my name is Maddy. And I am so excited to have you tuning in to our weekly podcast episodes, where we chat all the things from tips and tricks to funny stories from my life that have helped me to truly live in the sunshine. In this space, we are all about encouraging, inspiring and giving you the tough love that you need to hear sometimes to realize that you are totally made for more than what you currently have in life, and that you hold the power to make the changes that you need to level up and live your best self. So buckle up, grab some water and let’s get into it. Hello, my dudes and welcome back to another episode of The Living in sunshine podcast. Before we get any further into this episode, I just have to say happy birthday to me. My birthday is tomorrow officially April 14, my mother it was blessed with the best gift she could have ever received, which was me. Anyway, you guys, tomorrow is my birthday. So for today’s episode, we are going to be talking about seven lessons, I tried to come up with the top seven lessons I have learned in 27 years of living. Last year, I did this episode on my birthday as well, or during the week of my birthday. And it was six lessons that I have learned in 26 years. So go back and listen, I’m gonna go back and listen to see if there’s any differentiation between these two episodes. And I am just so excited to be sharing my birthday with you guys here on the podcast. The podcast just turned one. So the birthday of the podcast was two ish weeks ago. And I’m just so excited to be still here another year later doing another one of these birthday episodes for you guys on the podcast. One thing that I want to mention before getting too much further into this episode is that tomorrow only we are going to be doing a huge living in sunshine wide. I can’t really say sitewide because I do things in a lot of different sites. But we’re going to be doing a living in sunshine at Brand wide sale. So my TPT shop is going to be on sale my Etsy shop is going to be on sale, both of those spaces are going to be 27% off for two days only. So the 14th and 15th. And I’m going to be dropping the price of the on your vision course which officially went on sale last week to $27 off. So if you are interested in shopping, stickers, digital planners, teacher products, the course or anything like that, check out all of the links in my show notes, this sale is only going to be 48 hours only. So today and tomorrow 27% off at my Teachers Pay teacher’s store and my Etsy shop and then $27 off of the own your vision course for the next two days to celebrate my birthday to celebrate with you guys in a really fun way. So definitely let me know if you have questions on anything. I’m happy to answer them over on Instagram in case you have them. Alright, now that all of my announcements are out of the way. Let’s go ahead and jump in to today’s episode. Okay, so this episode is probably going to be a little bit longer than most just because I have seven lessons and a little bit to say about both of them. So definitely listen to this podcast episode while you’re going for a walk. Or you’re driving to your doctor’s appointment or you’re waiting in the parent pickup line to pick up your kids from school. But I wanted to share these seven lessons with you to hopefully give you a little bit of encouragement or inspiration. Or just to show you where you can get to when you open up your mind and you work towards improving yourself. Okay, So lesson number one is that there is nothing more important in life than living a life that you are obsessed with. And I know I say this a lot on Instagram and in the podcast. But you guys this is this is so this is Drew, I can’t say this enough. There is nothing more important than living a life that you are obsessed with. And when I say this, I mean living a life that is so authentically you to where you wake up excited and joyful every single day. And this has been something that I’ve had to learn through trials and tribulations and failing and starting over and feeling lost and confused and being excited and then not being excited. Again, I’m only 27 right like I’m not in my 30s I don’t have kids yet. So I’m sure there’s a lot more to learn. But in these 27 years, I have been able to recognize and go through experiences that brought me a lot of joy, but also brought me a lot of pain and worry and anxiety. I have had a whole lot of life for a 27 year old that a lot of people don’t really know about because I I just don’t share it. And this lesson this first thing has been truly the lesson I’m so glad I learned at 27 instead of 52 right instead of 57 or 67 Because I don’t want to grow up and wake up one day when I’m 47 or 87, or whenever, right? I don’t want to wake up in 40 years and realize that I wasted my life because I was living life based off of what other people wanted from me or expected of me or what society expected of me, right. That’s why I do things, the way that I do that, because I’m living life in a way that brings me joy, and a life that I can wake up every single day, excited to get started and ready to sit down in my office and put down my head and get to work or push play on a workout or go for a hike with my husband. That is seriously I could go on about this forever, is the most important thing because no one wants to, and no one deserves to wake up in their 40s 50s 60s 70s on their second half of their life, and realize, holy moly, I never did anything with my life. I never did anything. I never did anything that was mine. I never did anything that brought me joy. Because I was so focused on what my parents wanted, or what my kids needed, or what my husband wanted, or my partner, or what my, you know, society or whatever it might be expected of me. I don’t want to live that way. And I don’t think anyone should live that way. So lesson number one is that there is nothing more important in life than living a life that you are obsessed with. And if you’re listening to this, and you’re like, oh my gosh, that’s me, then I’m going to encourage you. And this is a shameless plug. It’s my birthday, let it go. This is a plug for the own your vision course. That’s why I designed the course the way that I did. Because everyone even though people who say no, I don’t have any, everyone has a dream. Everyone has a larger vision for their life that they have inside of them. They might not know what it is, they might not have the clarity on what that is. But this course teaches you how to gain that clarity. It teaches you how to take the vision that you might already have, and make it your absolute reality. That’s exactly what the own your vision course is for. Because I want everyone to live a life that they are so obsessed with. Because I don’t want any of you because I genuinely care and love all of you who listen to this and follow me on Instagram and all of the things. I want you to live a life full of joy and passion and intention and a life that you’re obsessed with. So if you’re struggling with this right now, definitely check out the on your vision course shoot me a DM on Instagram, we can chat about it if it’s the right fit for you. And just work towards designing this kind of life for yourself. Because it is so fulfilling, and you are 100% worthy and deserving of having that kind of life. Okay, lesson number two is a huge one that I wish more people would start to understand. And it’s something that I had to learn last year. If you are new to the show or new to me, I was actually accepted as a full time virtual teacher for a local public school last August of 2021. And I hated it. I literally hated every single second of it. I love the kids. I love the teaching. I went to school to be a teacher, but I hated everything else. Truly everything else about it. I hated the hours I hated the work I hated. Just so many things. It just wasn’t what filled me with joy and passion. But the reason I continued to stay. And the reason I almost stayed through the end of the school year was because of the money. Which leads me to lesson number two, which is that there are too many ways to make money in this world for you to stay at a job that you hate. Okay, I’m gonna say it again. There’s too many ways to make money in this world for you to stay at a job that you hate. And back in March, I released an episode that was kind of a mindset shift. If you hated your job, if you miss that, I definitely want you to go listen to it, you guys, I’m not telling you to quit your job. I’m not. What I’m telling you is that you don’t have to stay at a job that you despise, that robs you of your joy and your happiness. That sucks the life out of you only because of the money. Because there’s so many ways to make money these days. So many ways. You guys I managed to leave my full time teaching position, and almost immediately replaced that income. Being a virtual assistant making my own hours working at my own time doing my own schedule. Did it require a lot of work and tenacity and grit and I had to figure it out as I was, you know, you know the phrase where it’s like, you’re flying the plane as you build it. That was me it took a lot of work. It took a lot of figuring it out. And even now I’m still figuring it out. But I’m also at the point now to where I’ve managed to replace that teaching income with my virtual assistant income you guys. There’s too many ways to make money in this world to stay at a job that you hate. And again, hear me out. I’m not telling you to put in your letter of resignation tomorrow. That’s not what I’m telling you. What I’m telling you is to start to get your wheels moving. What is something that you could do? All that you can make money doing, that’s going to bring you joy. Okay? What is a skill or a talent or a passion that you have, that you could look, start looking tonight after work once you get home, if you’re driving to work right now, and figure out how to make money doing it, right? Real Estate, investing, being a teacher, you could start your own business, you could join a network marketing business, you could do any of those things. But my friend, there’s too many ways to make money in this world, for you to stay at that job that’s sucking the life out of you. Okay, I need you to hear that. And I need you to start to make the moves that you need to make to position yourself in a way to where you feel financially secure, because I deeply, deeply understand that need, but also live a life that you’re obsessed with. Okay to go back to lesson number one, okay, lesson number three is a huge one for my type to any Graham’s for my people pleasers. For my women who just love to help other people. For my people, my women who maybe struggle with having other people respect them, all of those types of people, if you’re nodding your head, and you’re like, Oh, my God, she’s calling me out. This has to do with you. Okay? Lesson number three, is that how people respect you and your boundaries is more of a reflection on their character than it is of your character. So what I mean by this is that if you have someone who you have set specific boundaries with, maybe it’s a family member, maybe it’s a neighbor, maybe it’s a colleague, maybe it’s a boss, and they continue to disrespect those boundaries that you have clearly placed, verbally written, whatever it might be, if they continue to disrespect those boundaries, and disregard them as if they’re nothing, that is more of a reflection on them than it is of you. Okay, and this goes. Also for the people who tell you that you’re being too sensitive, or too bossy or too loud or too needy or too, whatever. No, you’re not, if what you’re asking of the people around you, again, whether their families, friends, or coworkers, if it’s a reasonable ask, then you’re not being too needy or demanding or whatever, they just don’t want to have to get uncomfortable to respect the boundaries that you are putting on them. Okay, this could be your boss telling you that you’re not working hard enough, because you told her that you’re not working past 530 Every single day, because you want to go to your kids recital, or to your brother who constantly put you down for your job choices, even though you have asked him politely, I’m not having a conversation with you about this, because you continue to make me feel bad about what I’m doing, even though it brings me joy. That’s not a reflection on you. It’s a reflection on them. So if you have someone in your life, who fails to respect your boundaries, or even just in general respect you as a human, that’s not your problem. It’s theirs. And it shows their level of emotional intelligence, and their ability to be understanding and empathetic towards other people in their life. So try your very best to not see it as this emotional stab in your heart when someone isn’t respectful of your boundaries, because it’s not your problem. It’s there as they need to be working on that. And it’s not your job to make them comfortable. It’s not their discomfort is not your problem. It’s theirs. And if you are asking of things that are 100% completely reasonable. Now if you’re being like a psycho Sally, then we have a whole different story to talk about. But if you are being polite and respectful, and you’re asking for general respect in whatever way you’re asking for, there’s nothing wrong with that. If that person can’t respect that, that’s their issue, not yours. Okay, lesson number four rolls right off of lesson number three pretty dang well, in that lesson is that life is to excuse my French to damn short to spend it with people who do not love you, support you and get you to your core. You guys how many relationships think about your friendships? How many times have you continue to allow people who put you down to be a part of your life? Why right? Why do we do this we continue to forgive and forget the people who make us feel bad, who make us feel guilty or anxious or worried or like what we’re doing is wrong. When in reality what we’re doing is bringing us joy. If your people in your life do not love you do not support you and get you right like when I say get you I mean like think about your favorite, you know sleepover with your best friends where you’re like being a complete freak and they just laugh because they think you’re funny, like get you on that level. Then you don’t need to spend time with them hands down period. I don’t care if it’s your mother. I do not care if it’s your uncle. I do not care if it’s your husband. You don’t need to spend more time with them than you want to. You just don’t have to Life is too short to spend your time and honestly, waste your time with people who do not love you, support you and understand you and get you short, sweet. And to the point, there is no expansion on that, because that’s just how it is. You do not have to spend time with those people, it’s your time, you are the owner of that time, not them. Obviously, if you’re under age, you’re still living at home with your parents, it’s a different story. But once you’re, you’re 18, you’re an adult, you choose how you spend your time, you only have so much time in your life. And you deserve to fill that time with experiences with relationships, and with things to do with people who love you, support you and get you, okay, remind yourself of that every single day. And if you’re listening to me on your thinking of a person who makes you feel less than you need to think about that relationship, and moving right along to lesson number five in this lesson is that being kind to yourself, is just as important as being kind to other people. You guys, when we grow up when we’re in elementary school, or preschool, or we’re at home with our siblings, we’re always taught always to be kind to others. That’s like a staple, right? It’s like a Golden Rule, do unto others what you would want to do unto you, right? Be kind to other people. But here’s the thing that we fail, there’s a second part of that, that we fail to be taught, and that adults fail to teach us and I think that we, as a new generation need to be teaching our young people is that being kind to yourself, is just as important as being kind to the other people in the world. Because here’s why if we fail to be kind to ourselves, and when I say Be kind, I mean taking care of ourselves, exercising, getting enough sleep, doing things that make us happy, leaving relationships that suck the life out of us, all of those things, right? Being kind is a very big umbrella term. When we fail to be kind to ourselves, we lower our ability to be kind to other people, if we are constantly being negative, being hard on ourselves, using habits and routines that starve us, instead of serve us, we are not going to be able to show up for the other people in our life, whether we know them or not right families or strangers, as well as we could, if we were being kind to ourselves. First, think about it. When you are well rested, well fed, well taken care of. You are able to thrive and take care of others. When as if you were under eating, not sleeping, not drinking enough water, you’re constipated, because you haven’t had enough fiber in your diet. How are those two different people acting one is thriving, one has energy has a passion has purpose has a direction, the other person is hungry and grouchy and hangry and doesn’t want to have to do anything with the world. So when you are being kind to yourself, you are being kind to other people. So learn to be kind to yourself, because it’s just as important as being kind to other people. All right, lesson number six, we’re getting closer to the end. If you’re still with me, thank you so much. We’re almost there. I know this episode is a little bit longer, but we are making it to the very end. So lesson number six is that the biggest thing and this is totally personal, you guys, the biggest thing that our world lacks right now is the ability to talk to someone with opposing views differing views than you, without you turning into a screaming child. That is the number one thing that we lack. We lack the ability to have a civilized conversation and adult conversation with another person with differing views on us. Okay, that is the biggest thing that our world lacks. Think about politics, think about religion, think about across races and genders. The issue is that when someone has an opponent most often the issue, right, is that when someone has an opposing idea to you, you instantly get upset, you get angry, you get defensive and you you put your guard up instead of taking a step back and thinking, okay, this person has a different idea on this topic than I do. What can I ask them to try and understand where they’re coming from? Because when you flip the switch and you start to see red as my family says, when you start to see read and you get upset, you get angry, you get defensive, your brain literally shuts down and you’re unable to understand and comprehend on a more reasonable logical level. Like that’s biology that’s like not some made up stuff in my brain. That’s science, you guys, when we get upset, angry, overwhelmed anything our brain literally shuts down and we can’t comprehend on a deeper reasonable logical level. And something that I truly believe To my core, the biggest thing that our world lacks right now is the ability to not shut down is the ability to not flip the switch and go from, you know, having a conversation to being irate with another person. And it we lack the ability to say, Okay, I think this person might be a little bit crazy, right? Because you can think someone’s crazy, and still having a civil conversation with them, you can, I’ve done it. And here’s the other thing, you can be friends with people who have different opinions on you, you can, the reason why you say you can’t, is because you have a practice, not shutting down in your brain to try to understand where they’re coming from. I have many, many, many friends, family members included, who have polar opposite ideals and beliefs than I do on some of the foundational fundamental beliefs, core values and things that I think about unbelieving every single day. But I still call them my friends, we don’t have to agree in order to be civilized towards each other, we don’t have to want to believe the same thing as that person who has an opposing viewpoint than we do, to be able to have a civilized conversation, whether it’s about the, you know, uncomfortable topic at hand, or just about, like, our favorite piece of bread that we ate for toast in the morning, this is the biggest thing that our world lacks right now. Because what this does is it breaks down the ability to build sustainable, healthy relationships. So if you’re someone who you think of your crazy aunt Karen on Facebook, who posts the most ludicrous things that are so opposite of your beliefs, instead of flipping the switch and seeing reading your brain, think, what can I ask Karen and Karen crazy aunt Karen, because you can believe that someone’s crazy and still get along with them and still be civil towards them? Right? What can I ask her to try and understand where she’s coming from? What can we talk about to be able to still have a relationship and be civil towards one another. You don’t have to want to hang out with these people. You don’t have to agree with these people, the least you can do is be civil towards them. Because we do not need more anger and hate and frustration in our world. We just don’t there’s we have no more space for it. So think about this, the next time you see someone post something crazy on Instagram or twig talk or whatever, pause, hold back your need, and your desire to flip that switch and ask yourself, Okay, what can I ask this person to try to see their point of view, give it a try. And let me know what you think. I know that this one is probably not going to be everyone’s favorite. But it is a huge lesson that helps me to be more peaceful and more calm in situations that people have different ideas and opinions than I do, and make it out without completely freaking out. All right. And finally, lesson number seven of the top seven lessons that I have learned in 27 years, is that we as humans, as women, all already have the power right inside of us to design a life that we love, and have always dreamed of. And that all we need to do is learn how to harness it. And again, this is kind of another plug for the own your vision course, because in that course, I teach you how to harness that. But if you’re not in a space where you can enroll or whatever, I wanted to give you a couple of tips right now to tell you and remind you that you have everything that you need to be able to live a life that you are obsessed with. Maybe it’s implementing some of these lessons that I have learned and shared to in today’s podcast, maybe it’s going back and listening to have a podcast episode on digital planning. Maybe it’s implementing a health and wellness routine in your life. Maybe it is saying no to more work from your boss. So that way you can get home at a reasonable hour and put your kids to bed. But we all already have the power inside of us to make our lives something that we have always dreamed of. We might not know how we might not know when we might not have all the answers. But the beautiful thing is that you don’t need the answers. All you need in order to design a life that you are obsessed with is the dedication and the commitment to make it happen. Okay, you already have everything that you need inside of you. You might need to learn you might need to grow, you might need to find a mentor, you might need to enroll in a course you might need to leave a job, you might need to start a new job you might need to I don’t know to anything that you might not think you’re able to do. But you my friend, you have all the power that you need in order to live a life that you’ve always dreamed of. Don’t be afraid to start working towards that dream life because you don’t have the answers or because you’re telling yourself that you can’t do it because you can you totally can you just have to learn how to harness that power and use it to your benefit and once you learn that anything is possible. All right, my friends and that is everything that I I have for you for today’s episode seven lessons, the seven most important lessons honestly that I have learned in my 27 years. I’m so grateful to be sharing yet another birthday here on the podcast with all of my sunshine sisters here who listen to the podcast, and all of you who follow me on Instagram and are just part of the living in Sunshine Community. Again, I’m so grateful and so thankful that all of you are part of my life. And I hope you guys loved today’s episode, don’t forget to share the episode over on Instagram. That is the easiest way to support the show is to leave a review or ratings on Apple podcasts or by sharing it on your Instagram stories. And if you do share on your Instagram stories, please please please tag me so I can reshare it to my stories as well. Until next week, my dudes I am sending you all of the sunshine, good vibes and I hope you make it a great day. That is all I have for you today my dudes and I hope you love today’s episode. If you did, I would seriously appreciate it if you went and left the show a review and rating on whatever platform you’re currently listening on. For every review and rating that you leave, it truly helps the show grow and reach more women just like yourself. If you had any major takeaways or aha moments, be sure to take a screenshot of this episode. post it to your social media stories with your biggest takeaways and tag me at living in sunshine so I can share it with my people as well. Again, thank you so much for hanging out with me this week. And until next time, I am sending you all the sunshine good vibes and I hope you make it a great day.