EPISODE 69: [Storytime] How I Manage My Emotions to Get My Needs Met

2022 is my year of discovery that I am a fully fledged human with fully fledged emotions and that those emotions need to be supported if I want to be truly joyful on the daily. In today’s episode, I am sharing with you four things I have been doing in order to not only manage my emotions, but also make sure that my needs are being met!

This is a personal episode that I hope inspires you to be your own best advocate in life. You are allowed to have your needs met and you are allowed to put yourself first. After listening to this episode, send me a message on Instagram (@livingnsunshine) on how you are going to be your own best advocate.

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

 

Maddy 0:08 Welcome to the living in sunshine podcast if you don’t know who I am, my name is Maddy. And I am so excited to have you tuning in to our weekly podcast episodes, where we chat all the things from tips and tricks to funny stories from my life that have helped me to truly live in the sunshine. In this space, we are all about encouraging, inspiring and giving you the tough love that you need to hear sometimes to realize that you are totally made for more than what you currently have in life, and that you hold the power to make the changes that you need to level up and live your best self. So buckle up, grab some water, and let’s get into it. Hello, my dude, and welcome back to another brand new podcast episode. I am so excited that you are back and listening to a brand new episode I genuinely mean that I know I say it all the time. But truly seriously, I make this podcast for you. And I hear you and I take in all of the feedback, ideas, questions and areas of support that you come to me with. And I turn them into content just for you. So if you have been loving this month’s podcast episodes, don’t forget to leave a review or rating on whatever platform you’re currently listening to this podcast on it seriously helps the show grow so so so much. So if you have been loving these episodes, don’t forget to show the show some love by leaving a review or rating. So to wrap up our grab bag month have different ideas and topics for the podcast. Again, if you are missing some of the episodes or you haven’t listened to an episode yet in July, this month, we don’t really have a theme, I am just taking kind of the areas of support that you guys have been asking me recently and turning them into podcast episodes. And to round out our month of July. I am sharing with you guys how I manage my emotions and get my needs met when I need them specifically when I’m kind of having like a tough mental health season. And mental health is something you guys that I have been really talking about all year long. Because this year in 2022. I feel as if it’s my discovery of the fact that I’m a human being. And I have complex emotions, and I’m finally honoring them, which is something I should have done a long time ago. I’m not gonna lie. But this year has truly been the year that I am recognizing my needs. And I’m sharing my needs with others, and I’m making sure that my needs are met. So in today’s episode, I’m going to share with you how you can do the same exact thing in case you’re on the same mental health journey that I am. Maybe you are like I was back in January, where you’re just sick and tired of feeling anxious and worried and overwhelmed all the time. And you’re ready to take control of your life again, and more specifically, take control of your mental health again, to make sure that your needs are being met. But before we dive into these things that I’m doing, I want to remind you and send out a fun little announcement in case you’ve missed it. The Sunshine squad monthly membership launches on August 1. And I am so excited for this membership to go live you guys. I took all of the things that you guys requested, hey, girl chat, group coaching, one on one coaching, more support and more master classes. And I bundled them all up into this amazing membership that you can join on August 1, if you are looking for that kind of support. So if you are like wait a second, what is this membership all about? Be sure to check out the link in the show notes. Or come hit me up over on Instagram and I would be happy to share with you all about the sunshine squat monthly membership. Okay, so let’s go ahead and dive in to today’s episode. So I’m going to be sharing with you five things that I do in order to not only manage my emotions, but to also get my needs met. Now I want to share with you that every one is different when it comes to mental health. And everyone is different in terms of how they decide or go about asking for help. Right. And I am 100% A Enneagram. Two if you know anything about the Enneagram. I’m an Enneagram two, wing three. And what that means is that I am a people pleaser, I am a server I am all about having the needs of other people met often and all the time. That’s something that truly brings me joy. But that also sometimes means that I don’t have my own needs met and I don’t ask for the support that I need. And I put myself last or I put myself on the back burner. And if you are similar to this in any way, shape or form, you’re really going to want to listen to today’s episode because I know what that’s like I have been there and it’s time for us to realize that it’s really not healthy to put ourselves last. And if you know me if you follow me long enough, you know that I’m a huge proponent As an advocate, and educator of being more selfish, and how to be more selfish, because I believe, and I route almost all of the things that I do in that belief that when you put yourself first, you can better serve the people in your life. Okay? So here’s what I’ve been doing to manage my emotions and make sure that my needs are being met. As I’m on this journey of, it’s all about me, and I’m putting myself first and I’m doing what feels good to me, instead of always putting myself last because that hasn’t led me to a joyful life. Okay, first and foremost, is having a potato day thinking this should not be anything new to you guys, potato days are something that I have talked about before on the show and over on Instagram. But this has been my way of respecting and honoring and implementing a really healthy boundary with myself. And my work. And what potato days are in case you’re new, is one day out of the week that you choose based off of your lifestyle, to do nothing, like literally become a potato, where you don’t think about work, you don’t you don’t talk about work, you don’t dream about work, you don’t, you don’t do anything with work. And the reason why having a potato day is important, especially if you’re someone like me, who’s very driven and very inspired and very much kind of like a workaholic, is it gives you that forced rest that we all need to have, okay, we all whether you are working or not need a day to do nothing. And most people are like, well, that’s what the weekend is for. But for a large majority of people as well. That’s the weekend is when you do a lot of work, right? Maybe you have a full time job and you have to you the only time that you have to work is over the weekend. But my friend, what I need you to remember is that you need to have a day off, you need to have at least one day where you do nothing to be able to sustain the kind of lifestyle that you want. And having a potato day in your week is your way of building sustainability in your your habits and your routines, and giving your brain and your emotions the day that you need to just rest and recover and come back stronger. And since implementing potato days, you guys, I’ve started to look forward to my weekends even more. Because I know on Saturdays, I can spend them doing whatever I want to do like anything the world is my oyster. And it actually brings more joy to my day to day life. Because I know that I have something to look forward to on Saturday because I’m not working. I’m not thinking about work. I’m not touching my computer. I’m just resting and I’m resting in whatever way feels good for me. Maybe that is doing nothing and sitting on the couch all day. Maybe that is revamping and remodeling my house. It looks different week to week, but having a potato day is a great thing that I have implemented to meet my own needs and make sure that my needs are being met, and to also manage my emotions. Okay, thing number two is what I am deeming sad days. Okay, so we have potato day, and we have sad days. And sad days are something that I talked about on Instagram back in June. And so many of you resonated with this idea of just having a sad day. Because I really feel like it’s something that people don’t do enough. And the reason we don’t do it enough is because we have this apprehension, this sort of fear of being sad. And we as a society, I feel like has built up this, you know, two arms extended out, stay away, don’t talk about don’t touch it, don’t think about it around the emotion of sadness, right? Like when someone comes to you and says, I’m feeling sad. What do you say? Or if you go to someone else in your life, and you say I’m feeling sad today? What is generally the reaction that you get? Oh, well, I’m really sorry that you’re sad, but I hope you feel better. Instead of oh, I’m really sorry. You feel that way? What can you do? To feel better? Right? It’s almost like a Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, like don’t talk about it. Don’t think about it, like brush it under the rug like feel better. Or the other reaction is, what what’s wrong? Why are you sad? And I just feel as if this is our society’s way of not allowing us to feel these emotions, right? So a sad day is the permission to just feel sad, for however long you need to feel sad. And you don’t have to justify why you feel sad. You don’t need a reason why you feel this emotion. You don’t need to explain it to anyone else. You can just honor that emotion of sadness that you feel and play it out. Let it play out right? Sure. Maybe You do want to be proactive and do something that makes yourself feel better. But I know for me when I’m having a sad day, I don’t want to talk about it, I don’t want to do anything about it, I just want to lay in my bed and be sad and just feel it. And this is again, a newer thing that I started to give myself the permission to have. And it’s done wonders to kind of give myself the mental permission slip that it’s okay to feel sad. There’s nothing wrong with you, if you feel sad. And feeling the emotion of sadness is actually a healthy thing. You guys, we can’t be happy all the time. That’s just that’s just unhealthy. We can’t always be joyful or always be on cloud nine are always 100% of the time feel like everything is amazing, beautiful, wonderful unicorns and butterflies. That’s not healthy. We need to feel other emotions like sadness, or disappointment or anger, or maybe worry, like we are unique and complex things on this earth. And we need to feel all of the emotions that we have the range and the ability to feel. So if you are someone who is oftentimes or often enough to where you can say, Yeah, I felt like that you have felt sad, or down, or any sort of low emotion, right? Feel that give yourself a sad day and make that sad day look like whatever feels right to you. And know that you don’t have to be able to answer the question. Well, what’s wrong? Why are you sad? Because sometimes you’re sad just because you’re sad. And that’s okay. Sorry to interrupt the show my dudes, but I have something so exciting to share with you that I need to tell you right now. Are you ready? I am so excited to officially announced that starting in August of 2022. We are opening up and launching our first ever living in sunshine membership. I am so pumped for this membership because it is going to be a way for you and me to hang out on the daily and literally become virtual best friends. Starting in August, the sunshine squad monthly membership is opening to everyone and I am so excited to have you join me in it with two monthly coaching calls led by me daily check ins exclusive discounts and opportunities and the hype girl text thread coming back from members only you are going to want to get in on this amazing community. Right now we are in beta launch with 15 Amazing founding members in the breakthroughs that these women are having in this space in just this first month of beta launching is inspiring and honestly makes me emotional just thinking about it. You can find all the information that you need on the sunshine squad monthly membership by checking out the link in the show notes. Or you can head over to my Instagram page which is at living the letter N sunshine. And in the membership highlight I have all the information Q and A’s in details that you need to feel confident in joining this membership. Be sure to mark your calendars for August 1 of 2022 so that you know when you can jump into this amazing community with me. Again, I cannot wait to see who joins us in this membership. Be sure to check out all the details in the show notes are over on Instagram. And I cannot wait to officially welcome you to the sunshine squad. Okay, Thing Number three you guys that has changed how my needs are being met and how I manage and regulate my emotions is openly talking about my feelings with my husband. And I know for some of you, you think, oh my god, I have to talk about my feelings and you want to run for the hills. Hang on, don’t go anywhere. I promise you it’s not not as bad as you think it is. You guys, I come from a family who talking about our emotions was never something we did ever like that was just not a normal thing to do. And this whole revolutionary like gentle parenting idea was also 100% Not how I was raised at all. So feeling and talking about my feelings with someone else, like a year ago saying having someone tell me I need to talk about my feelings would have made my skin crawl. But now after going on this journey of my feelings are valid. I need to make sure that I’m taking care of myself openly talking about my feelings, especially with someone who I trust with my entire life, which is my husband Lucas is like the number one way that I helped to manage my emotions, specifically my anxiety, because he is such an amazing, incredible sounding board for me to be able to just say, I don’t know why I’m just feeling a little bit anxious today or I’m feeling sad today or I’m feeling grateful today right i It’s not just about negative emotions. It’s also good ones you guys and sharing that with someone else makes me know that I’m not I don’t have to deal with them by myself and I don’t have to feel these emotions on my own if I don’t want to and getting uncomfortable in this way. has allowed me to build such a relationship with my husband to where he now knows that I either need some space, I need to just be by myself, or he needs to distract me from whatever it is that’s, you know, making me upset. Or we can celebrate about something really, totally awesome. And I know that openly talking about your feelings can be really scary to like, share how you’re feeling with someone else, that can be a really scary, intimidating thing. But I have found time and time again, that only good things come from it, because it allows me to sort of release this pressure. And release this feeling that I have to do it all by myself, because I don’t and you don’t have to either. So if you are someone who sometimes has big emotions, because grownups can have big emotions, too, I encourage you to find someone who gets you and loves you and wants the best for you to openly talk about these feelings with because you’ll feel such a sense of relief when you do. Okay, tip number four thing number four that I have been doing to help manage my emotions, and get my needs met, is getting comfortable with being in tune with myself. And I know that this is something that takes practice, and it’s kind of a learning curve. But you, my friend need to be more in tune with yourself, if you’re not already in tune with how you feel okay, and this might be super awkward at first for you to start to do because again, some of us weren’t raised in an environment to where being in touch with your feelings or your needs, or your emotions was acceptable. And so it might feel really awkward, and really uncomfortable to do. But the more that you do it, the more you will benefit from it. So what does it look like to be in tune with yourself? First and foremost, to me, it looks like knowing where I am in the morning when I wake up in terms of my emotions. Am I happy? am I grateful? Am I feeling anxious? Do I need to go for a walk? How am I feeling? And you can do this quite simply by asking yourself, How are you today? How are you feeling today? Maybe you implement a journaling routine that you can sort of write it out. I know that that helps some people. But my encouragement to you if you are someone who feels like you’re not managing your emotions very well or you aren’t having your needs met, is to get comfortable being in tune with yourself and what you need. So that way, you can then go back to the previous tip, and talk about that with someone else. Because this is one of those things that no one can help you unless you ask for help. But if you don’t know what you need, if you don’t know where you’re struggling, because you’re not in tune with yourself, you can’t go from step one to step two to step three, right. So practice being in tune with yourself, get comfortable being in tune with where your mindset where your heart set where your emotions are. Because when you are so in tune with yourself, you will be able to better communicate with the people in your life what you need from them. So that way you can live a more sustainable supported life. Okay. And last but not least, the probably the biggest thing that I have been doing this year to manage my emotions and get my needs met, is going to therapy. Now I have talked and I have given several podcast episodes dedicated to where I go to therapy, what I do for therapy, medication, all of that stuff. So I’m not going to talk about that in today’s episode, what I’m going to just say for this last one, is to give therapy a chance. And I say that because I needed to say that to myself seven months ago, I needed to give myself that permission and tell myself that it was okay and normal and acceptable to go to a professional for mental health support. Because it is there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not messed up in the head, you’re not failing, you’re not dropping the ball, you’re not, you know, not meeting expectations, because you need to go talk to a professional about all of the things that are going on in your head or in your heart. Okay. And as an extension to that because again, this is something that I needed to sort of swallow and get past seven months ago was that if your therapy provider recommends medication, you might as well give it a chance. You don’t have to stay with it forever. It might just change your life. And again, I say that from experience. I started both therapy and anti anxiety medication back in January. And it has genuinely been such a game changer in how I go throughout my day to day life that I can’t imagine not having them now. And I just I always want to Send that encouragement out there to anyone who was in the same shoes that I was in seven months ago because you never know who needs to hear it and maybe you need it to hear that it’s okay to go to therapy. It’s okay to be on medication. I literally on Instagram call it a medicated misses like there’s nothing wrong with needing that kind of support, and also accepting that kind of support because for me at least, it’s been the biggest thing that I have done. The biggest step that I have taken to truly better regulate my emotions, and have my needs met is you go to therapy once a month I go, I speak to a counselor and I take daily medication and it has been a huge game changer in my life. And it might just be the thing that you need to do in your life to live a truly joyful life. And that is everything my friends I hope you guys enjoyed today’s episode and I hope you enjoyed all month long the grab bag topics for the July podcast episodes, I had the best time creating and recording and editing, all that kind of stuff, these podcast episodes for you this month. And we will be back to our monthly themes in August and I cannot wait to see what you think about today’s episode. If you have any major takeaways please go share them over on Instagram and tag me so I can see and share your biggest takeaways on my stories as well. And until next week, I am sending you all the sunshine, good vibes and I hope you make it a great day. That is all I have for you today my dudes and I hope you love today’s episode. If you did, I would seriously appreciate it if you went and left the show a review and rating on whatever platform you’re currently listening on. For every review and rating that you leave it truly helps the show grow and reach more women just like yourself. If you had any major takeaways or aha moments, be sure to take a screenshot of this episode. post it to your social media stories with your biggest takeaways and tag me at living in sunshine so I can share it with my people as well. Again, thank you so much for hanging out with me this week. And until next time, I am sending you all the sunshine good vibes and I hope you make it a great day.