EPISODE 86: An Open Conversation with My MOM!

You asked, we made it happen! In today’s episode I sat down and had an open conversation with my best friend, aka my mom. We talk about a whole lot of stuff from our favorite memories together to raising wonderful kids. I had the best time chatting with my mom in this way and getting to know her a little bit more, and I hope you love it as much as I do.


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Maddy 0:08 Welcome to the living in sunshine podcast if you don’t know who I am, my name is Maddy. And I am so excited to have you tuning in to our weekly podcast episodes, where we chat all the things from tips and tricks to funny stories from my life that have helped me to truly live in the sunshine. In this space, we are all about encouraging, inspiring and giving you the tough love that you need to hear sometimes to realize that you are totally made for more than what you currently have in life, and that you hold the power to make the changes that you need to level up and live your best self. So buckle up, grab some water, and let’s get into it. Good morning, my dudes. And welcome back to the living in sunshine podcast. I am so excited for today’s episode, because we have a very special guest, who I will introduce in just one second. If you follow me over on Instagram, you already know who’s coming on to today’s episode. And I’m so excited. But before we dive into today’s episode, I want to remind you to go and take the free personality survey that I have linked in the show notes and over on my Instagram bio, because once you do, you will get tailored resources, trainings or coaching calls and opportunities from me based off of your results. So definitely go take that personality survey. It is super fun. It’s super short. It’s just 10 questions should take you only 60 seconds, and you get so much in return for 60 seconds of your time. So before we go any further I’m going to introduce today’s even with you. I’m going to introduce today’s very special guests. This woman is my mother, also known as JJ over on Instagram Stories, also known as add mom of fry three, I have my mom with me if you missed it back in October, Lucas and I my husband Lucas and I went and stayed with my mom for a few weeks we went house hunting, we did some family time, all of those good things. And I asked you guys over on Instagram if you wanted to do an interview slash q&a with my mom. And it was a resounding yes. So I’ve got your questions from Instagram. We’re going to answer them but we’re standing in the closet of her bedroom. I’m already sweating. We’re just gonna dive right into this mom, would you like to say hello? JJ (Mom) 2:23 Hello. Maddy 2:26 It’s probably going to be a hot miss. kind of I guess episode but we’re just gonna roll with it because we’ve tried recording this twice now. All right, Mom, can you please answer so we have five questions from the people. Are you ready to answer them? JJ (Mom) 2:40 Sure. Maddy 2:41 Okay. So here is your first question. How will I guess this is for both of us? How would you describe one another in one word? Do you want to go first or me? JJ (Mom) 2:54 You? Maddy 2:54 You want me to go first for you? JJ (Mom) 2:55 Yeah, Maddy 2:56 okay, so I would just stop laughing I would describe my mom as crazy. No. Kidding. Not crazy. No. I mean yes. But no, that’s not my that’s not my real answer. Okay, so I would describe my my fake here’s my one word for my mom would probably be hard working. JJ (Mom) 3:27 That’s two words. Maddy 3:28 Oh my gosh, hard working hyphenated. Okay. I’m gonna make it something stupid and not sentimental. And that’s going to be you know, I’ve said this on the podcast and on my Instagram Stories a ton of times I look up to my mom in so many ways. She’s one of the most hardworking people I know. I have learned my work ethic my determination, my self reliance, my independence, all these things from her. And so if I had to describe her in one word, it would 100% be hardworking with a heart with a hyphen because apparently hard working is two words. Two words it is two words, but we’re gonna hyphenated. So do I get two words? JJ (Mom) 4:06 You sure? You want two words? Let’s see. How do I describe Maddie spoiled? Maddy 4:13 True, JJ (Mom) 4:14 Princess. Maddy 4:15 Also true. JJ (Mom) 4:17 Loving and thoughtful. Maddy 4:19 Okay, those are all good. The spoiled in the fridge like those words. I don’t think I have an option. I would tell you that you needed to change and then I would edit this out but I’m not going to edit this. I’m probably just gonna keep this entire episode just unedited. So people can really see that the true the true us. Um, okay, so the next question is what is a favorite memory that you have for each of you? So like a favorite memory between the two of us I think is what the question is. So what’s your favorite memory from each of you? JJ (Mom) 4:50 You’re putting me on the spot. I think about this. Maddy 4:53 Okay, well, I’m all of you are old because you have cataracts. So so I’ll go first. My favorite memory with my mom is, I don’t know. Probably we took a trip to Charleston where my mom now lives really my idea that was my idea. I’m prettier. So it’s my idea. So my favorite memory. You did come first. My favorite memory with my mom is we came to Charleston, like after my freshman or sophomore year of college. No, it was earlier than that. When I was in high school. No, it was like, the summer of my freshman year, because you hadn’t yet moved from Ohio. JJ (Mom) 5:37 Right. But you were in college? Maddy 5:40 Yeah. So between my freshman year after my, JJ (Mom) 5:44 between like your senior year in high school, no, between your freshman year and your sophomore year? Maddy 5:49 Yeah. High School. Yeah, because you guys then moved once I graduated, so we took a trip. We took a road trip, just me and my mom to Charleston and we stayed. It was like a week long thing. And we did the road trip together all of these things. We got lost in the middle of nowhere, Virginia, because our UPS took us the wrong way ups. She took us the wrong way. And I had my mom’s stay in a hostel because, oh, it was after my sophomore year because I had stayed in hostels. I went, I studied abroad, my sophomore year in college, and I convinced my mom to stay in a hostel for a few days, and she hated every single second of it. And I of course, like being 20 Something didn’t care. Yeah, that trip. We walked everywhere. We rode bikes in the middle of the street at like, I don’t know, 10 o’clock at night. It was just, it was a good time. It was good traffic. Good time. Yeah, it was fun. Is that your same answer? JJ (Mom) 6:40 Yeah, I think so. Maddy 6:41 Why was it that why is that your favorite answer for you? Um, JJ (Mom) 6:43 because I finally got to take like, the first vacation I had like, taking Yeah, ever, ever. Yeah. And because I’m the favorite child, I got to go. I know your brother and sister aren’t listening to this. Yes. Maddy 6:59 So you’re admitting on the record your meeting? JJ (Mom) 7:05 Would never I love all my children equally. Maddy 7:07 That’s not true. But okay. She’s winking. You just can’t talk because we don’t videotape. Okay, Mom, this one is specific for you. And I don’t think that it’s going to be as juicy as this person hopes it’s going to be because I was really boring. But what was Maddy like as a teenager? JJ (Mom) 7:25 Oh, God, she was not the bad one at all. She was the good kid. She’s the one who gave me the least amount of trouble. Yeah, I there’s there’s there’s like no secrets to tell. Yes. The good kid. She did everything that we asked. Yeah, she’s the product of being the third child and taking notes. Maddy 7:40 Exactly. Yeah, I am the youngest. JJ (Mom) 7:42 I have I have no dirty secrets to tell. Maddy 7:44 Ya. See? It’s a good question. If I had like a checkered past, but I don’t like I literally, I’m the I’m the third of three. I have an older brother and an older sister and older sister who’s like a true middle child, daughter. And, you know, I learned I sat back and I observed and I was like, Okay, I know what to do and what not to do in order to get what I want out of this relationship with my mother. And so I just like I did exactly what I was told I did exactly what I was supposed to do. And yeah, yeah, there’s no there’s no juicy secrets. Yeah, it’s really boring. I never did anything exciting. As a teenager. Um, okay, here’s another one. Have you always had a good relationship? Or has it gotten better as Maddy has gotten older? JJ (Mom) 8:29 Oh, no, we’ve always had a good relationship again, like, well, Maddie got to be like an only child for three years. Now know we’ve never had a bad relationship ever. Yeah, yeah. It’s one of those things that like if you really Lorelai Gilmore, Ira lion or a Yawar s Maddy 8:46 I was just about to say that if you’ve ever watched Gilmore Girls, which I know a lot of you have, because we have talked about over on Instagram, my mom and I literally have a very similar not as freakishly close but like pretty freakishly close relationship as lorilynn Ray from Gilmore Girls, like, I talked to my mom, I tell my mom things I call my mom names that like you probably most people would not say to their mother. JJ (Mom) 9:12 Three kids and like everybody’s always like, we’ve that’s the way I’ve always raised them. Like, people think that the kids are being disrespectful to me when they’re really not. That’s just the way we are. Maddy 9:23 Yeah. Okay, well, then I know because I know I have people who have young kids, what do you and I’m not a parent. So like, this isn’t for me. This is for my people who I know have young kids. How do you think that you? What do you think that you did differently? That helps to build that kind of relationship? Like I like you guys. Literally, I went to my mom. And I told her everything. Like I still tell her everything and that’s how all of my siblings are. So what do you think that you did or said or whatever, as we were getting older that you’ve fostered that kind of relationship? JJ (Mom) 9:53 Um, I think somebody was a product of the environment and the product of being children of a single parent. household, and also a product of life experiences. You know, some of the things that occurred while you guys were growing up, required us to be a team and because of those experiences because of being the product of divorce parents, divorced parents who had a contentious relationship. I was always a mom who kept it really real. So I was the one who kept it real, then I think you guys followed suit and felt comfortable in coming to me, whenever. I also know if if you as a parent, if you ask too many questions, kids are going to shut down. If you don’t ask questions, kids eventually can’t keep it in. And then they just like word vomit all over you. And then you learn way more than you might ever, ever want to know. And also, though, because I was kind of raised in a similar environment. When I was growing up with my mom. life decisions and problems got solved in bathroom. Maddy 11:06 Yeah, literally, like we literally call them come to Jesus talks like someone will be sitting on the toilet with the door open. And we’re all just having open conversations. Yeah, this is something I still do today as a grown adult with my husband. He doesn’t love it, but we do it. JJ (Mom) 11:19 Yeah. So when I was growing up, it was me and my sister and my mom and my dad, but I don’t, we were always frequent, frequent freakishly close with my mom. And so life decisions, life decisions were always were always solved in the bathroom during bath time. Maddy 11:39 So, yeah, yeah, totally. And I think it’s one of those like, the other thing that’s like, really important to know is that growing up my brother, sister, and I only had four real rules, which were Don’t do drugs, don’t get pregnant, don’t drink, and drink, drink, and drive. And if you get arrested, you have to figure out how you’re getting home. Because if you manage to figure out how to get yourself in that situation, you need to figure out how to get yourself out of that situation, which from the kid perspective, and again, I don’t have kids, so I can’t like reflect on how this works with children. But as the kid, that gave me a lot of responsibility, and it gave me a lot of freedom that like some of my friends didn’t have. And, you know, I had friends growing up who had different relationships than I do with my mom. And I saw that, and I saw that as like, wow, there are some kids out there who are very sheltered, and they’re very closed off from their parents, and they, you know, keep secrets from their parents. And all of these things like, those limited number of rules, so to say, didn’t mean that we were like running around like feral children, but like, it just meant that we had the freedom and the leeway if you would like a longer leash to be able to problem solve and try new things and get in trouble and then have to figure out how to get out of trouble. Like, it taught us a lot of lessons, I feel like that we wouldn’t have learned if we were in the kind of, I don’t know, traditional parenting style of, you have to do everything that I say. And if you don’t do everything, I say you’re in big trouble. Like, that just was never how our house was. But that doesn’t mean like, there was any lack of or less respect for her as a parent. I definitely see my mom is my parent first and my friend’s second. But like, there’s a lot of people out there who don’t have that friendship kind of relationship with their parent or their child. JJ (Mom) 13:27 Right. So I don’t know, it’s weird, because I don’t know, like at one, like some point in, in the years of parenting, we went from being a Yes, ma’am. No, ma’am. Type family to calling me JJ. Maddy 13:42 I think that stems from trauma. JJ (Mom) 13:45 I don’t know. But like the respect was already established. So then we could like blur the lines of that a little bit. I don’t know that you can start that kind of disrespect, if you will, even though for us. It’s not dispersed. Yeah. Your children need to be old enough to understand what’s respectful and not respectful. Before you can kind of go down that path. Yeah, I don’t. If I could write a book about it, I’d probably become rich and they wouldn’t have to work anymore. And then Maddy and Lucas wouldn’t have to take care of me in my old age. Yeah, I can’t figure out how to get those words on a piece of paper. So Maddy 14:19 make a course do something like that. Okay, so here is a question that I have for you. Gosh, we we questioned me enough. Throughout your 27 years, I will always ask you questions. So we as a family have always been raised. And when I say we as a family, I mean you Charles and Katie, who are my siblings. Were always raised to believe that we could do whatever we wanted. Like, I remember growing up my mom always told me like you can do whatever it is that you want to do. You can become a ditch digger. If you want to be a ditch digger. As long as you can afford to live the life that you want to live. That’s fine. The one thing that you absolutely positively have to do is get a college degree and then after that once you have that degree, you can do whatever the hell you want. And my question for you is a lot of us, me, my brother and my sister have all kind of gone different directions. I mean, what made you as a parent decide to sort of give us that freedom, because again, there’s a lot of families out there who are very much like, you’re gonna be a doctor, you’re gonna be this, you’re gonna do that. Like, I feel like parents sometimes have these pathways paying for their kids. And they sometimes, like, I guess my question is like, how do you deal when your kids decide to go down a different path? Then maybe you had thought? Slash? How do you refer to your brothers? No, no, no. I mean, I went to school to be a teacher, and I am in no way shape, or form a teacher, like, I tried that, and it didn’t work. But like, I’ve never once felt like when I picked up the phone to call you, I was gonna have to, like, disappoint you in some way by telling you, hey, I don’t want to be a teacher, or hey, I’m trying this or hey, I’m doing this new thing. Like, what? Like, why did you decide to give us that kind of freedom as a parent? And yeah, I mean, we’ll start there. JJ (Mom) 16:09 So again, it kind of goes back to those life experiences, your the benefit of being third, and your poor brother, who was like, had the benefit of being the first with like, parents who were overachievers, and wanted nothing. But you know, the best and he was going to be I don’t anyways, so you learn a little bit. But life experiences, I don’t know, they like just a life experience thing. And at the end of the day, you need to be happy doing what you’re doing. And so whatever that is, whatever, whatever support your idea of a lifestyle. Yeah, Maddy 16:56 totally. Okay, I have two more questions, and then we’ll be done answer your question. I think it did. I mean, it’s just one of those things that again, like I know, I have listeners who have young kids JJ (Mom) 17:06 and parents who have multiple children, you’re going to screw up with the first one and you’ll do it right by the time you get to the third one. And you’re not going to really screw up with the first one. You’re just like, after going through all of it with the first one. Then you kind of wake up and you realize, oh, I was a little bit over the top with all of that. And, you know, because he wanted to quit baseball and because he didn’t want to get a job and so then you didn’t want to give him any money, but he only got money to put gas in the car to drive his sister’s to work. He really did turn out okay. Yep. He and so suddenly it doesn’t become as important like, as important as you thought. All three children have turned out to be wonderful human beings. Even hurricane Katie but you learn with each other each child Yeah, each kid is kid. Maddy 18:05 So sorry to interrupt the show my dude but I have some exciting news I need to share with you right now. Are you ready? I am so excited to share it that the sunshine squad monthly membership has officially launched to everyone. I designed this membership to help all of my happy hustlers, Joy seekers dream chasers and purpose pursuers have a space where they can feel supported, encouraged and inspired every single day to get after their most ideal life. Included in this membership are two coaching calls led by myself daily check ins to help you stay on track and accountable in your joy seeking weekly q&a opportunities for me to give you tailored coaching and guidance in your journey. And the High Pro text thread is coming back for members only. And the best part about this, it’s only $20 a month. Literally, I made this membership for you, the girl who is ready to take control of her life, live a life of joy and obsession and also help you get connected with other like minded women who want the same exact thing that you do. So go jump into the membership. Now you can find all the information that you need and the link to join us in the show notes. Or you can go find more information over on my Instagram, which is at living the letter N sunshine and I cannot wait to see you in there. Okay, so we have two more questions. My first one for you Mom is what are your viewpoints slash? How do you feel about me branching off to start my own business and go that entrepreneurial route that isn’t always super stable, and isn’t always like it’s I’m kind of doing my own thing. So what are your thoughts on my doing my own thing and choosing this as my career path? JJ (Mom) 19:54 It’s in your DNA. One of my children were born to follow in the family footsteps. Yeah. Your dad has always tried to be an entrepreneur. Yeah. And pave his own way. And so it’s not surprising that one of three children would go down that path. Yeah, Maddy 20:16 yeah, that’s a good answer. That is it is kind of one of those things that I say this a lot like I when it comes to business, and it comes to work and drive and all that kind of stuff, like, a lot of that does come from dad, because that’s always been what he’s done. Yeah. Um, so yeah, okay, cool. JJ (Mom) 20:33 I don’t worry about you. I mean, I’m doing okay. Worry about you taking care of yourself doing just fine. You always, you do have always have like, Plan A, B, C, and D in your back pocket. So Maddy 20:44 yeah, you got for me. Yeah, that I definitely got from you as always having a plan and always landing on my feet. I remember a year ago, when I quit my teaching job. If you didn’t know, I had a full time teaching job teaching online at a local public school. And I wanted to quit it was like literally killing me on the inside. And my mom’s like, don’t figure it out. Like you’ve always landed on your feet. This is not the first time you’ve had to pivot, like, you’re going to be fine. And I feel like that’s the other thing that I get from you is like always having all those plans, but also like, being willing to like jump off the cliff without a plan and like, knowing that it’s all more than one. Knowing it’s gonna be okay. That haven’t always worked out that way. But that sounds okay. Okay, here is our last question. And then we’re gonna wrap this up. This person asked the question, what is one thing that you look up to in your mom, but also your mom looks up to in you. So something that you look up to me and something that I look up to you and I don’t know. JJ (Mom) 21:46 What just just like your thoughtfulness and the way you view life and always being happy and always seeing the good and everything. When sometimes when I listened to Maddy’s podcast, when I’m walking on the beach, I’m like, who’s the mother? And who’s the daughter here? Maddy 22:07 Who is who’s raising who? JJ (Mom) 22:08 Yes, who is raising? Maddy 22:12 Just the way you view life? Yeah. Try to keep it Sunny. Try to keep it Sunny. Right, yeah. Okay, so what I look up to in my mom is probably something that we’ve already talked about. It’s just like the resilience factor. And being willing to try things that we’re not really sure if they’re going to work out, but we’re gonna try anyway. And just that like, hard working attitude of her, like, she’s always managed to figure it out. She pretty much raised my siblings and I like on her own. From the time I was 11. To the time I was like, out of school. And that takes a lot of work. Like my mom is a lot of the reason why I say on stories and all my podcasts and everywhere, like single moms have the heart moms in general have the hardest jobs ever. And like I literally, like bless the ground that you walk on, like kiss your feet bow down to you because I’m not in this season of life where I think I could handle that or I do not want to do that. And a lot of that comes from my mom just like the general respect that I have for her and the journey that she’s been on and all the things that she’s done in how she’s raised all three of us and all of that are just attributed to the things that I attribute to her and look up to her for the most. Anything else mom you want to say to the people? JJ (Mom) 23:32 Let’s expand his podcast. Maddy 23:33 Yes, listen to the podcast leaving a review we are so close you guys to our 50 written review goal for 2022. So if you have not yet given the show a review I would really appreciate it if you did if you’re not sure how to do that you can head over to my Instagram account at living the letter N sunshine and I have a little podcast highlight where I walk you through step by step how to leave a review. Like I said we’re like sub 10 reviews needed to hit that goal so I would very much appreciate it if you went and left it a review. If you loved today’s episode please please please Go share it over on Instagram as well take a screenshot and share your biggest takeaways. Be sure to tag me and my mom at mom of fri three all like no spaces or anything fry yeah fry fry. Tag me and my mom so we can see what you guys loved about today’s episode. And until next week, I am sending you all the sunshine good vibes and I hope you make it a great day. That is all I have for you today my dudes and I hope you love today’s episode. If you did, I would seriously appreciate it if you went and left the show a review and rating on whatever platform you’re currently listening on. For every review and rating that you leave it truly helps the show grow and reach more women just like yourself. If you had any major takeaways or aha moments, be sure to take a screenshot of this episode posted to your social media stories with your biggest takeaways and tag me at living inside chime so I can share it with my people as well again thank you so much for hanging out with me this week and until next time I am sending you all the sunshine good vibes and I hope you make it a great day