EPISODE 97: [TIPS&TRICKS] How to work on your relationship with you


Struggling with your relationship with you? I GET IT! I used to be the same way but now, I am my own bestie girl. In today’s episode I share with you how I made this happen and how I continue to work on this each and every day. The three things I share with you today are seemingly small, but are going to be hard to commit to for some. Stick with it, stick it out, and watch what happens when you do. 


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Maddy 0:08 Welcome to the living in sunshine podcast if you don’t know who I am, my name is Maddie. And I am so excited to have you tuning in to our weekly podcast episodes, where we chat all the things from tips and tricks to funny stories from my life that have helped me to truly live in the sunshine. In this space, we are all about encouraging, inspiring and giving you the tough love that you need to hear sometimes to realize that you are totally made for more than what you currently have in life, and that you hold the power to make the changes that you need to level up and live your best self. So buckle up, grab some water and let’s get into it. Good morning. Good morning. And welcome back to another new episode of The Living in sunshine podcast. My name is Maddy Frey. And I am so excited that you are here tuning in for yet another episode. So today you guys we are going to be talking about how to work on your relationship with you to continue to talk about and tackle this theme of self love. Last week, I gave you kind of a fresh perspective, my idea and belief as to what self love actually is, and what it actually entails. So if you haven’t yet listened to that episode, go ahead and do that before this one and then come back and listen to this one. It’s gonna be like 20 minutes perfect for a walk, go get yourself caught up, and then come back and listen to today’s episode. And before we get too far into this episode, I do want to remind you to go take our living and sunshine personality survey. All year long. My friends, I am going to be creating new courses resources digital downloads for my four personalities, which are the happy Hustler, Dream Chaser purpose pursuer and joy seeker. And the only way that you’re going to get those resources is if you take this personality survey, get your results, because I will be emailing those resources directly to those people who have those specific results. So go discover what your personality is and why it’s your secret superpower. Now, via the link in the show notes. And my final reminder of this episode before we jump in to the meat of this show, is to remind you to stick around to the very end to see if your review is being featured during our review of the week podcast segment. This is a new segment for the living in sunshine show that I am adding into the end of each episode, I’m going to be picking one review to read out loud and give that reviewer a special shout out right here on the show as a Thanks for leaving a review. So be sure to stick around to the very end to see if your review is chosen for our review of the week. All right, and now that all of my announcements are out of the way, let’s go ahead and jump into it after I get a sip of water because I’m suddenly super dry mouth Hold on. All right. So as promised, today, we are going to be talking about how to work on your relationship with you. Now there are probably 500 Other things I could have put on this list. But if you know me and you know this show, you know I’m all about keeping things easy, simple, digestible, and tactical. So instead of giving you 500 million ways that you can work on your relationship with you, I’m going to give you three, three super intentional ways that you can work on your relationship with you. If you’re someone who you feel as if you struggle with confidence, or self belief, or mindset, or just loving where you are in the process of becoming the best version of you. Right, we talked about this last week. So these three things are things that I have done in my own life and have seen the benefit from right. I’m never one to tell you to like do something I haven’t yet done myself because I just don’t see the value in that. So know that all of these things are tried and tested by me. They work with time, consistency and discipline. So let’s go ahead and talk about number one. Number one is to make time for yourself daily. And this could look like meditating or journaling. If you are spiritual, maybe doing a daily devotional, maybe going somewhere alone, maybe sitting quietly with yourself. We are all the time in society, moving shaking, listening, consuming, communicating, doing something right. Like there is rarely a time of day that we are just by ourselves. Right? And when I say by myself, I don’t mean like by yourself sitting on the couch watching TV and scrolling on Instagram. I mean truly, you yourself and I with nothing else going on around you, right? No dogs, no kids, no, no sounds or consumption of any kind. It’s just you and this is something that I have really started to dive into the last few months of creating and falling into a a meditation practice really is what it is, and making sure I give myself that time each and every day. And the reason why this is important is because it gives you time to think. And it gives you time to just sit with your thoughts. And I know for some of you listening, you’re probably like, oh my god, I could never like, listening to myself think makes me have anxiety, because I intentionally do things to fill my day, so that I don’t have to listen to my own thoughts. And like, actually, you know, approach them and face them head on, right. But the only way that we are going to have a stronger relationship with ourselves, is if we give ourselves time to ourselves, right? It’s the same with any relationship. If you want to have a stronger relationship with your partner, or a friend or a family member, you have to spend time with them, right? Like you can’t have a healthy, stable, strong relationship. If you never see that person ever. If you’re only ever, like texting them so often, or DMing them on some social media platform like once a week. That’s not a great relationship, right? It’s the same thing with you and your own relationship with yourself. And again, if sitting in silence, and spending time with your own thoughts, scares the EverLiving crap out of you. Do it gently right? Start a meditation practice journal, listen to a podcast, or I don’t know, sip your coffee in the morning while practicing gratitude. Just having that kind of empty space, where you’re on your own. And allowing those thoughts to come to you naturally, is a really good first step. And when you commit to this daily time on your own, you will find that over time, prolonged periods of time where you’re again, sitting in silence, and working or just meditating or journaling all on your own, you’ll be able to better do those things for a longer period of time. And you’ll find yourself being more self aware, and more in tune with your thoughts and your emotions and your needs. The second thing that you can do to work on the relationship that you have with yourself is to look at areas of improvement that you can have in your life, as something to learn from not something to hate, right? This is a huge thing. And this is something that I have personally have have had to learn over and over and over again, that my shortcomings, whatever they might be health, mental wellness, relationships, mindset, they have to be things that we can learn from, instead of things that we see, and immediately tear down or hate. Because if we continue to look at something, let’s say our health, right, it’s the beginning of the year, I know that health is a really big thing for a lot of people, if we continue to look at our health as something to hate the way our body looks, the way that we eat, how when did we get when we go up the steps, right? All of these like little things of self improvement. If we only ever view those areas as as areas to hate, or to crap on or to make ourselves feel guilty about, we’re never going to want to improve them, right? Because we’re going to build a lot of shame around them. And when we create shame within ourselves about something that we have the power to change, it’s going to be much harder for us to address that change, and make those decisions to change those spaces in our life. And so I want you to work on changing and flipping the script. So instead of looking at, let’s say, I don’t know, like your stomach, or your thighs or something on your face that you don’t like, right? Instead of looking at an area of your body that you don’t necessarily love, and something that you know that you want to improve. Instead of looking at as this ugly, shameful thing. Look at it as something that you can learn from right. I’ll use myself as an example. I’ve gone up in size, probably two or three sizes over the last few years. So instead of looking at the size of my clothes as to something to resent and feel guilty for. I’m flipping the script and I’m looking at looking at it as something to learn from right. Okay, what can I learn from this, I can learn that the way I’ve been eating, and the way that I’ve been fueling my body isn’t producing the results that I want, right? Eating the way that I’ve been eating, eating out a lot, getting dessert a lot during the week, drinking a lot of coffee during the day. Obviously those things aren’t things that are getting me the results that I want to have. Right. And so instead of fueling that area of improvement, with shame and resentment and guilt, I am filling it with knowledge right? What can I eat that will help me to feel full and feel good. And get me to the results that I want to have. What kind of caffeine intake do I need to be on a day to be at my optimized level of performance, while also not being detrimental to my sleep patterns, right? Something I’ve recently found is that I have caffeine after three o’clock in the afternoon, I do not get a full solid night’s rest without waking up multiple times in the evening, which doesn’t do well. And I hate like, I don’t like waking up in the middle of the night, right? So again, using those areas of improvement, as a space to learn and grow from instead of them making them a space of guilt, resentment and shame. Have you ever felt like the people in your life just don’t understand the dream that you have on your heart? Or even the desire that you have to be more joyful or intentional or even just plain happy? Like, life is good enough? Why do you need more? Right? Well, my friend, if this is you, I have something special just for you. The Sunshine squad community is your go to place for that validation that you’re searching for, to know that you aren’t crazy for wanting more, and that you aren’t alone in that desire either. This online community has grown to be filled with amazing joy seekers purpose pursuers, happy hustlers, and dream chasers just like you. In the sunshine squad community, you get continued guidance from me that you need to make your dreams a reality, a community of women who get it, and the steps that you need to make your life something that you’re totally obsessed with. If you are ready to say yes to those things, you need to jump into the sunshine squad ASAP. And you can do so right now via the link in the show notes. If you do have questions on what the sunshine squad community is, or if it’s right for you, feel free to send me a DM over on Instagram, I would love to chat with you more about it over there. And my friend, I can’t wait to see you inside of the sunshine squad. And then finally, the last thing that you can do to help yourself work on your relationship with you is to work on being super in tune with how you speak and think about yourself and pivot when you need to. So this is something that has been huge for me and I know I’ve talked about it in some form or fashion on the podcast before. But the way that we speak to ourselves, you guys is exactly a manifestation as to how we view ourselves. And the power of word is so strong to where it can quite literally reprogram your brain, and reprogram your beliefs to either be rooted in a space of oh my gosh, I’m the greatest human like I’m big man on campus, or I’m a piece of crap, and I hate myself and who will ever love me, right? Like, we have that power inside of us to decide which we want to believe. And it starts with how we talk to ourselves, and how we think about ourselves each and every moment of the day. And for me giving you just a personal example. Something I used to do all the time, is every single time I would walk in front of a mirror or a reflection, right, so like a window or something, I would look at myself and I would physically like poke and prod and grab and say really nasty things to myself that I would never in a million years, say to my best friend or my mom or my sister or my husband, right? Like, I would never say those things to other people. But for some reason, it was okay for me to say them to myself. Like what? Like. So in those moments when I would catch myself doing this, I would physically like slap my hand away, or tell myself out loud. No, we do not talk to ourselves like this. You need to say something kind to yourself and you need to move on, like literally remove yourself from in front of the mirror or the reflection. Because we’re not playing this game. Like we’re not doing it. And over time from doing this of continuing to pivot and change and immediately fix that action. I no longer do that. Like I literally, I just don’t do it. And on the rare occasion that it does happen. That habit of swatting my hand way and saying something kind about myself immediately comes into play because now it’s just like it nature. And now like I said in last week’s episode, I fully love who I am. Even after I’ve had some pretty significant body changes to the way that I look over the last two years and two years ago, I would not have the mindset and the in the self love and the belief and the acceptance that I do if it weren’t for this work if it weren’t for being so in tune and aware of how I talk to myself, and the way that I think about myself, right. I believe that I I’m a highly confident person. And you can also be a highly confident person. When you enact this habit, right, of talking to yourself positively of hyping yourself up of telling yourself that you can do it, of saying to yourself, I am beautiful and lovable just as I am right now. But it really starts with opening up your eyes and being really in tune with how you speak and how you think about yourself in the first place. So just as a quick review, three things that you can do to work on the relationship with yourself is to make more time for yourself on the daily look at areas of improvement that you know or want to make as areas to learn from. And then the third thing is to be super in tune with how you speak and how you think about yourself, and pivot when you need to my friend, I know when you choose even just one of these things, and you commit to it, you will start to see healing hopefully, or confidence or an increase of a positive relationship with yourself, which is exactly what I want for you. And that is everything that I have for you for today’s episode. If you loved it, please give it a shout out over on Instagram, take a screenshot and share your biggest takeaway over there. Be sure to tag me so I can see it as well. I love connecting with you guys about the podcast over on Instagram. And before we wrap up for today. Let’s go ahead and read our review of the week. Okay, so this review comes from Anna M. McDonald. Thank you so much Anna or Ana for this review. She says I love listening to Maddie, her energy is infectious and I can always count on her to bring positivity into my day you can truly tell she wants good things for everyone and cares about bringing her listeners the content they need and deserve to hear. Thank you, Maddie. No Anna, thank you. I appreciate that review so much because that is literally you guys while I’m here. I want you to know that you can do things like love yourself or, or grow and your habits and your routines and live a life that you love and the fact that people are getting that from this show. makes me so happy and so joyful. Thank you again Anna for that review. If you want to have your review read on our weekly review of the week segment. Go leave one right now over on Apple podcasts and I will truly try to read it on air. Until next time, my friends I am sending you all the sunshine, good vibes and I hope you make it a great day. That is all I have for you today my dudes and I hope you love today’s episode. If you did, I would seriously appreciate it if you went and left the show a review and rating on whatever platform you’re currently listening on. For every review and rating that you leave it truly helps the show grow and reach more women just like yourself. If you had any major takeaways or aha moments, be sure to take a screenshot of this episode. post it to your social media stories with your biggest takeaways and tag me at living in sunshine so I can share it with my people as well. Again, thank you so much for hanging out with me this week. And until next time, I am sending you all the sunshine good